‘I’ve been up in the air, out of my head,
Stuck in a moment of emotion I destroyed.
Is this the end I feel?
Up in the air, fucked up on life,
All of the laws I’ve broken, loves that I’ve sacrificed.
Is this the end, end, end, end?’
Pulling my suitcase down the narrow steps Jared’s lyrics rang through my head. Placing it into the back of a taxi I looked back at my house once more and smile. I was getting the help I needed.
Telling the driver the address to Shannon’s house I pulled the envelope out of my jacket and turned it over and over in my hand. Pulling up to his drive way all the cars were parked in his driveway. Telling the driver I would be right back I slipped out of the back of the car and walked up the stone steps. Opening the letter box I slipped the envelope inside and made my way back to the awaiting taxi not knowing how long it would be until I saw Shannon again.
*Shannon’s POV*
Running up the steps from the studio I walked to the fridge and pulled out a few new bottles of water walking back into the lobby I notice something drop through the letter box. Slowly making my way to it I picked it up and recognized the writing instantly. I threw open the door to see her driving away in a taxi. Walking back to the breakfast bar I sat down with shaky fingers and opened the envelope.
My dearest Shannon,
This is hard for me to do this but. I am going away for a little while. I have been dealing with demons in my head and I need to seek help from this. This is not got to do with you so please don’t blame yourself. I love you Shannon and I hope you realise I am doing this to help our relationship. It was really hard for me to leave and not say goodbye properly but I knew if I did I couldn’t leave you behind. While I am away, I won’t be able to talk to you. It’s kind of like a rehab for people with mental problems I am not allowed to talk to the people I love until I am a little better. It sounds scary right. I can’t believe I am saying all of this through a letter but I couldn’t get the words to form and I wouldn’t be able to deal with saying all of this to your face. I’m not sure how I feel about this but something’s we just have to go and do. Let me tell you this Shannon. I love you I always have and I always will, I don’t know how long I will be away for but my mother knows where I am and if you need anything I’m sure she will help. I love you baby. I want you to move on and forget about me. I know you may not like hearing this but I am not good for you. My father said I always had to follow my heart and I know there will always be a part of you in mine. I feel like I should say goodbye but I know this is not the end. Send all of my love to the others they do not know where I am going, tell them all they mean the world to me, and they have helped me a lot and this is no one’s fault. Losing my father that quick was a shock and I need to be alone for a little while but I’m sure I will see everyone again. Please talk to someone about how you are feeling. I hope you and the band reach new heights and you achieve everything you want because you deserve it. My father’s last words were to me to stick with you as we are great together but for the time being I can see how I am tearing you apart and I don’t want your music to suffer from this. I know music means everything to you and I hope you reach your dreams and expectations. Please think about singing and sharing everything with the Echelon. You truly are an amazing person. Please don’t be sad ‘One day maybe we will meet again.’ I don’t know what else to say Shannon. But let me tell you this I love you so much I hope you never forget that Hopefully I will not be away for long but please don’t worry about me, I am in the best place for now.
I love you with all of my heart
Your Girl Shiloh x
Putting the letter down on the counter top I looked at the photo attached. It was a picture of Shiloh and I. Both of our eyes were closed and I was kissing her cheek. She had a big smile on her face. (Image to show idea. not Shi just make her up in your head. Use for visual aid)
Tears escaped my eyes before I knew what was happening. Throwing the picture down Jared came up from the studio to see what I was taking so long. Pulling on my shoes I picked up my car keys and left, Jared yelled after me. I couldn’t think properly this couldn’t be the end. I drove over to Shiloh’s mum’s house to see where she had gone but she wouldn’t tell me. Feeling defeated I finally crashed down on the floor as the tears kept coming from my eyes. I couldn’t lose her like this. It was all my fault, I should have been there for her but I wasn’t I was selfish I was devastated when her father died that I didn’t think about how she was feeling. I collected myself and drove the short distance to the beach where I knew I could gather my thoughts. Sitting down on the warm sand I pulled my phone out and saw I had lots of missed calls from Jared. I picked up when my phone started ringing again. Putting it to my ear I pinched the bridge of my nose to try and keep the tears in.
‘Shannon what’s happening? Where are you’ Jared as quickly
‘She’s gone, J. She left’ I mumbled that was all I could say before the tears ran down my face.
*Normal POV*
Pulling up to the large stone building I paid the driver and was greeted by the main doctor and nurse’s at the clinic. Switching my phone off I handed it over with a few other of my belongings. I was taken into a large white room where the nurses went through my bag to see if there were any other forms of communication I had. The nurse named Kelly pulled out my journal and handed it to me. She pulled out a stack of pictures and went to put them in the pile for taking away.
‘Can’t I keep the pictures’ I ask as he went to lift them and take them away
‘No you are only aloud one photo. The rest have to go with your other belongings’ she said whilst she looked through the pile and handed me one of my mother and father.
‘How about this one?’ She asked as she handed it to me. Shaking my head she looked through them again and came across a photo of Shannon and I smiling to each other. She handed me the photo without saying a word. I smiled looking at the photo. I knew these next few months were going to be hard without him but I knew it was for the best. The nurse smiled and left me alone for a little while, looking through my journal reading my writing the smile vanished from my face. Jared’s lyrics had made a lot of sense recently and these new ones were very fitting for the time being.
‘Demon, where did my angel go?’ Sighing I closed the book and looked out the window that would be my view for the next few weeks.
