I Don't Love You, I Hate You |BL|

33~ Breathless

We sat in a café that reminded me a bit of Paris and stayed quietly. I didn't initiate the conversation and neither did she. We both sat quietly till finally she opened her mouth. She chewed on her red stained lip before speaking. "We never thought Haden would ever marry. Who knew he was into guys" she suddenly joked.

What did she mean by that anyway?

I gave her a questioning look and she smiled at me and decided to elaborate "when we first suggested he see you he was strictly against it, but then to our surprise once he got back he accepted it" she shrugged.

My eyes grew wider. Wait. he accepted the marriage that's why I was getting married to him.

A flashback from that day at the restaurant crossed through my mind. It was the exact moment I suggested to him that both of us decline this offer. He agreed to it, but then.... He went home and said he would do it. It didn't make sense to me.

Then it occurred to me. What he said before about how he knew it was me. He loved me. So he accepted this because it was me?

"what's with that face honey. You're acting like you didn't even know that he accepted this whole arrangemen-" she paused though the end of her sentence and gasped to herself as if she just realized that I had no idea of what actually happened.

I kept my eyes on her hands, her fingers played around with the silver tea spoon that she had gotten with her tea.

"I'm glad that everything is going according to plan, after I cancelled everything I never really thought that we would be able to pull it together at the last minute" she grinned at me shrugging off the little slip up she had minutes ago.

"Are you saying that Haden had made the decision to marry me from the start?" I asked her in a monotone. My eyes still watched her hands play with the spoon.

"Y-yes. Of course. He had to marry someone of our choosing but there wasn't really a restriction to it. He always had the freedom to reject the partners we chose. Which I have to say he did way too many times. We never really thought he would accept this one." she said in a low voice and lowered her face when I looked at her.

He accepted it on purpose.

He lied to me when he said he didn't want to marry me?

He Lied.

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I sat on my bed twiddling my thumbs in utter boredom. It was four in the morning and I still was awake. In my mind I was counting down the days.

Four days.

Haden wasn't still back from wherever he was. I couldn't help but wonder how I would react when I saw him again. I had to get myself under control. My mind tended to wonder to that exact moment in the hospital. Embarrassing as it was I couldn't resist but relive it.

The sound of a door suddenly slamming sent my blood into frenzy. It was him...Well I hoped it was him.

I swung my legs over the bed and tip toped to the door. Leaning my ear against the cold door I listened. I heard footsteps' getting louder, someone was coming up the stairs. My heart raced as I listened.

Suddenly a loud knock came at my door. The sound made me jump away from the door with a quiet yelp. I stepped away from the door, pondering whether I should open it or not. I had an idea of who it could be and that's exactly why I didn't want to do anything. Maybe I should just pretend that I was asleep.

I covered my mouth with my hand and held my breath thinking that whoever was on the other side would not know that I was up. Why was I behaving like such a pansy?