I Don't Love You, I Hate You |BL|

16~ Plans and Dates

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This whole day felt like a date. We'd ordered food and wine and made awkward conversation. He'd conned me into going on a date. I could be wrong. But that little voice inside my head said otherwise. At the thought of us just being on a date made my heart constrict. As we sat there without speaking a single word and staring into our plates I could not avoid the awkwardness in the air. I felt his eyes burning holes into my skin as I sat there. I tried my best not to give in to the temptation of looking up at him. "Can I ask you something?" He asked, suddenly.

Placing my hands on the top of my legs I adjusted myself on the chair uncomfortably before looking up. "Sure" My voice cracked, and squeaked as I spoke. If he was looking for something to laugh at to make me feel like a total moron, now was his chance.

"Why don't you like me?" I gawked at him. Really? He is really going to sit there and ask me that question?

Do you like him, Derek? The voice asked me. I don't hate him.

Why was it so difficult for me to just simply say something and get myself out of it this situation. After all, he had been nothing but a c-u-n-t to me since day one. He was the one who told me that he has no interest in men, period. And that I was only here because he needed his inheritance.

"I –well.." I stuttered, then sighed. I was hopeless. "You don't like me; so why should I like you." I paused, "So, I don't know what you are talking about?" I asked while stuffing a spoon full of food into my mouth. It could not have been more obvious that I was nervous.

My palms had begun to sweat, and I rubbed the perspiration on the fabric of my pants.

"You're avoiding the question," Bingo! He was right, that was exactly what I was doing, or at least that was what I was trying to do.

I sat munching on my food, making sure that my mouth was full at all times so that I could not speak. "mmmhh..zi-s is very good!" the words came out broken, muffled and unclear. Seemed like a good plan at the time. But I was sure that I could eat no more food, or if I kept at it I would eventually run out of things to eat.

"Stop eating!" His voice was firm and challenging. I paused midway, I swallowed slowly.

I knew there was a reason why he was being so nice. This was no date, this was an interrogation; and that made me feel like a fool.

There was no way for me to just get out of here. He made sure of that. He made sure of everything with his kind tone and suggestively seductive eyes that I did not know anything he was planning.

My eyes swiped the room looking for the nearest exist. But lucky me –it was on the other side, there was no way I could make a run for it.

Let's just say, for argument sake, that I did manage to walk out of here without him following me. How would I get home? He was my ride and he made sure that I had no escape. The jerk. We were in the wine country, probably over 2 hrs away from his house and I was sure that no one really came this way unless they had some business here or lived around here. It was not like anyone was going to just volunteer to drive me back into the city; and I sure as hell didn't have enough money to get a taxi from here to the nearest city.

"Why do you hate me?" He asked, his voice remained the same. Fidgeting in my seat, my shoulders slumped. I give up!

"I don't hate you" I said, and looked back at my empty plate.

"Then why do you avoid me-"

"Why would I not avoid you. Every time I see you, y-you do something rude," I said cutting him off. "or, you say something to make fun of me." What was I saying, It was like I had no control over my words anymore. "You haven't been nice to me Haden. You've been a complete asshole to me since I got to yours. You have no right to ask me this stupid question; I should be asking you this instead." I breathed heavily for a moment, and silence settled over us. "you seem to get off on making my life miserable. Why can't you just treat me like a human." I whispered.