A life of Payne (1D/5SOS) *HEAVEY EDITING*

Jealousy is a bitch

I didn't even register the fact that Louis and I were alone in the lounge room until he cleared his throat like he was about to speak. I knew that I should move away from him now that there was other seats available but for some reason I didn't feel as angry towards him as I did a few hours ago. It almost felt like my birthday never happened and that were still close friends but unfortunately it did happen.

"U-um listen Katie, I am truly sorry about what happened on your birthday, I really didn't mean to hurt you. I just can't handle not being friends with you anymore! You make all us lads better people and you just don't understand how much it hurts me being the only one your ignoring. I know I lost any chance of being anything other then a friend to you, I see the way you and Niall look at each other and honestly it kills me on the inside but if being heart broken means I still have you as a friend then so be it! I just want my little kiddo back." He looked into my eyes when he had finished ranting.

Right now I don't have any idea of what to say. These kind of moments when I'm completely tongue tied don't happen very often.

"Please say something." He begged me as he grabbed one of my hands and began to rub small circles on it. I couldn't deny the way his touch felt on me no matter how hard I tried. No Katie! Think about Niall!

"Why does everyone insist on calling me kiddo?" I asked not really sure what else to say and I really wanted to know why that lame nickname actually stuck around.

"Is that really the first thing your saying  after I poured my heart out to you?" He chuckled which is good because it means he's not angry at me or my choice of topic.

"Yes it is because I want to be friends with you again but the only way I can do that is to pretend the last time I saw you was on your birthday not mine. That's the last happy memory I have of us as friends."

He looked at me with the biggest smile, he hadn't used a smile like that since my birthday. He has had this sad look on his face since the moment we admitted we liked each other out on the balcony, when he pretty much decided it was 'easier' to be with Eleanor rather than me.

*Flashback*

"I don't have anything to say to you." I said trying my best to sound flat and careless but we both know that my voice had betrayed me.

"I know you like me. And believe me I like you too, god damn I like you so much but me and Eleanor getting back together looks good in the media and could you imagine how Liam would react if we got together? It's just a lot of work and you already go through enough being related to Liam, I don't want to put you through more crap that you don't deserve."

I stayed silent. Not really sure what to say back. Until tonight I denied that I liked him but it's hard to deny it after this.

"Please say something!" Louis begged as he reached out and tried to hold my hand but just before he did I pulled my hand away from him and took a few steps away.

He sighed realising that there was no way I would let him get that close to me again.

"I don't think your girlfriend would like you holding hands with a kid who literally just turned eighteen. Now if you don't mind I'm going to go and find someone closer to my age and pretend that I like them since I'm obviously wasting my time with you." And with that I turned and walked back inside.

*End of flashback*

I blinked away the tears that were beginning to form at the memory of that night. I turned to Louis and wrapped my arms around his chest as I hugged him.

"Please be my best guy friend again?" I mumbled to him as I nuzzled my face into his chest.

"Anything for you kiddo."