I am the girl in Christian's secret life.

Part 22: For now and ever .

"So tell me how does it feel to know everything you ever wanted is coming true?" I asked Christian as we relaxed on the sofa, we have been having a lazy happy day.

"Almost everything" He teased and pulled his fingers throw my hair – almost? I might still wonder sometimes what's going throw his mind yet right now it didn't matter right now, I had him, and right now we are supposed to be packing for collage instead we are watching an rerun of some quiet good old TV shows.  

I was still relaxing after what happened last night, My mother and Toby had casually brought up a   bomb shell, That they are planning to get married. I nearly spat out my milk in Hanna's face and well things got slightly weird and stiff after that.  Hanna and Jack seemed as surprised as I was but everyone seems abut more relaxed now, I have about 3 miss calls from my dad and I didn't even ask how many he got from his, we did make quiet a pair.

"So is that braids maid dress of yours going to be pink with 30 bows and glitter?" Christian asked pulling his fingers throw my hair which he loved to do so often. I once joked about cutting my hair a bob, he sulked for 2 hours till I promised I won't.

"Ha-ha, Hanna wishes" I teased "It's going to be peach." I said   slightly hesitant on it .

"Oh because peach is so far from being pink." Christian laughed, and I couldn't help but let a laugh slip and enjoy the moment with him, the road did not take us where we thought it would, but all in all I can't say that we ended up still strong still together.  "I'll make sure to take plenty of photos" Christian teased and I punched him playfully and he smirked. "hitting an injured man! I'll sue you" he said pulling a fake paining face.

"you're such a Drama queen"

~~Christian ~~

Something was wrong, I could just sense it. Even now when  things seem to have fallen into its place, with me and Emily leaving for collage something I really did not think would ever happen.  I am able to stand on my own and take  a few steps without the help of my crotches. Still there is a nagging feeling in the back off my head saying I have over looked something but I couldn't figure what it was, Nick was texting me  about some party,  by now he started to realize  that parting with a guy  in crotches gets him points  for sympathy but I didn't feel like partying. My aunt's house was quiet,  flipping throw TV channels  that was mostly advertisements for  the latest Wight lose,  the care outside caught my attention. I slowly got off the soft sofa, the red color was starting to hurt my eyes anyways, the sting of pain reminded to t reach for my  other legs, the crotches.

  Slowly going to the window  and pushed the flowered blinds aside , Yup it was parked  slightly up the street but it was my dad's I was sure of it. Was he the nagging feeling I felt, well there was one way I knew off to get it over with,  giving a look at the wheel chair that stood neatly folded against the wall by the door. I lifted my head, no I'll do this on my own feet using the crotches I walked to the door and walked outside the cold night breeze hit my face, winter was coming, soon Emily will be catering hot chocolate and sappy romance movies. The car door opened and the man I have fought with sine I could remember got out, he seemed smaller, or maybe I was taller? maybe I was somehow bigger than the fear that I was forced in to feeling, I made my way to the side walk, his face came into full few as we met each other half way.

"Christian" His voice was soft and hesitant as he spoke my name, I looked at him, he lost weight yet the shadows that hunted his eyes were gone. The shadow of a bearded that I had come use to seeing on his face was missing as well now. "

What are you doing here?" I asked keeping my voice emotionless, he looked at my legs and back at me

"I  just wanted to see how you were, I tried to   stop by and make sure you're  okay every now and then." my father spoke  yet I  didn't show anything, I didn't want to show the storm that was brewing in my mind.

" I noticed." I added still keeping  y face clear and my mind calm.

"Christian, I am not trying to be a stalker" He nearly laughed. "Your still my only boy, I know I done a lot of wrong by you  that I will never make up for, I can't, I was a shit father." he toke a shaky breath "I am a shit father." he added.

"I can't agree more" Yet I can't help thinking I am too hard on him,  then I remembered all the broken bones, bruises and  words of poison that I got . "Look is you still sober?"  I asked  letting out a sigh.

"Yes I haven't touched a drop since..." he trailed off.

"Yea, keep it that way okay" my tone softened as I looked to him, he nodded  and the eyes  that looked so much like my own looked back at me with a lighting of hope in them.

"I will" I said and held out his hand, a hand shake? "You know I am not scared off you." I count stop the words.

"Good, don't be, don't be scared off any one" He said as I awkwardly extended my hand shifting the crotch under my arm and shake hands.

__________

"I don't know, that hatred, that fire I feel when I see him, the need to see him in pain ... I didn't feel it today, I don't think I have forgiven but..."  Emily's hand touched my cheek and turned my face to look at her.

"Forgiving someone, could be just as much as for yourself  as it is for them." She said and laughed dropping her hand. "Sorry  I think I been  going throw vows to much with my mum."  She said and looked at me her green eyes where bright yet  she bit her lip.

"It's okay my peach princess." I said and stroked my hand throw her  hair  she smelled like strawberries. " Did you have fun with the wedding planning?" I asked pulling her closer towards me

"Horrible, my mum can't make her mind up on anything at least I got some strawberry cake out of it." Emily said with a cheeky smile.

"and did I get any?" I asked pressing my head into her neck, I couldn't help but plant a soft kiss of her soft neck Emily gave a giggle. "hey that tickles" she said  pushing her hand at my chest, of course she didn't have much of a  force but I backed up looking into her eyes ."where's my cake" I said again

"Okay, okay I got some in my bag for you, all doggie begged up." Emily said it as playfully scratched my ear, I rolled my eyes and attempted to give her hand a bite. "Don't bite the hand that feeds you." Emily said in a  light tone  before kissing my cheek softly and swiftly.

"Hey Emily" I wasn't sure why I was thinking it but I felt like I had to say it, I couldn't stop myself the words where falling out as they wanted to. "I want use to have this- forever, like this" I said , wasn't making sense to myself but my heart was racing. "I want you to be mine I..." I was getting flustered "I am yours "Emily chipped in her normally impatient self. 

"I mean as my wife!"