Bruises & Bitemarks (SasuNaru)

71.

It's almost refreshing, to have been through that. Is that weird? It was difficult and painful, but now I feel like I've been rained on and the dirt has washed away and the sun has come out, leaving me warm and dry.

Now and then the notion crosses my mind that perhaps we're blowing all of this out of proportion, that Sasuke's exaggerating and maybe he just doesn't understand that. I'm not sure what to think of that. It would be nothing short of insensitive to suggest it, but at the same time I can't help thinking that maybe, just maybe, Sasuke needs to open up.

I think Sasuke found something important in Shiroi. He's always been a solitary sort of person, and I'm not saying that's anything bad, but everyone needs human contact. Sure, he has me, but I'm not the whole world. I can't give him everything.

Shiroi's very similar to Sasuke, in a way. Quiet, not too outspoken, the poetic observer type. He's not the same, not by far. I'm not romantically inclined towards him at all despite the similarities. But he's like enough to suit Sasuke just fine.

I'm not sure what Sasuke thinks of Takeshi. There must obviously be some antagonism; Sasuke's never been at ease with people who showed the slightest sign of trying to hog me (here I think of Kiba). But he said, "I want to hate him." Why can't he hate Takeshi? Because it would hurt my feelings? Or Shiroi's? Or does he like Takeshi for other reasons?

"What are you thinking about, Naru?"

I glance sideways, where Sasuke is lying on the couch as I sit cross-legged next to his head. His fingers have been trailing along my bare skin this entire time, like he doesn't want to break physical contact with me for even a moment, like he wants to remind me he's there. His eyes are closed, but his hand never stops its meandering path.

"You," I reply.

He smiles at that, like it's cute. I don't have the heart to wipe the contented look off his face.

Sooner or later, though, we need to discuss this.

I call Takeshi's cellphone while Sasuke is in the bathroom.

"Sorry about leaving you guys on your own yesterday," I say. "I really didn't expect things to go the way they did."

"No, no, it's fine. We felt so awful about bringing it about, I mean – tell Sasuke I'm sorry about the dare, okay?"

"It wasn't your fault."

"No, I'm to blame. I... I shouldn't have let my attraction to you get the better of me. You're right, it's only going to hurt us all in the end. But I can't help it. I'm sorry. Did everything go okay with you guys?"

I consider this. "I'm not really sure yet. It's not too bad, but the problem's not really solved. I think we need some time. The tension's so thick you could cut it with a knife."

"Sasuke's really hung up on you, isn't he?" I can hear the sad smile in Takeshi's voice. "He's really devoted."

"Honestly, I... I think it goes beyond devotion. It's..." I pause, my mind having raced on without me, leaving my words in the dust. "I think I need to talk to Shiroi. It's nothing personal, it's just I think Sasuke's been able to connect with him as a friend in a way I've never seen him do before."

Takeshi laughs, not in humour. "I wouldn't be surprised if Sasuke hated me right now."

"Frankly... I don't know. But I can't see you guys right now... I gotta stay with Sasuke. You know what I mean?"

"Definitely. Don't worry about it. Call me when you need us, alright? We'll do whatever we can to help."

I sigh, already feeling better. "Thanks so much, Takeshi."