Bruises & Bitemarks (SasuNaru)

18.

I wake up in my bed the next morning with my memory completely intact and very vivid. I lie there on my stomach for a while, staring at the wall. Then I hear the bathroom door open and soft steps leading out of it.

"Thanks for stopping me," I mutter.

The footsteps stop.

"You're welcome," says Sasuke quietly.

"You were right. I would have done something stupid. I mean, I..." I roll onto my side. I don't know. I wanted to do stupid things. I didn't think they were stupid then, but now I do. I wanted it. Do I want it now? I don't know.

"Can we forget about it?" Silently I add, Can we forget about it, and just be stupid teens who wanted more than they could handle?

"Yes." I can hear his unspoken words too: Yes, but only for so long.

—

Something seems different, that day. Sasuke and I hardly speak, let alone get close to each other. He says nothing when I silently leave to hang out with the gang for a bit. I expect to be gone for hours, but I come back in half – I can't get my mind off of the memories; I can't make myself feel involved even in an idle chat. Kiba asks if something happened last night. I lie. When I go back to the dorm, it's to find it locked and empty, and I left my key inside. So I sit down, back against the door, and wait.

Sasuke just looks at me when he comes back. I stand to let him open the door, staring at the backs of his feet. He lets me go in first and closes the door behind us, but before I can retreat to my bed, his fingers close around my wrist. I flinch at the touch and turn around and my eyes immediately lock with his.

Neither of us speaks. We just look at each other, trying to tell each other something, anything, everything with our eyes. Sasuke says, this isn't right; we can't do this forever. I say, I don't know what else to do.

He lets go of my wrist, but I don't move. I can still feel the ghost of his touch against my skin.

I say, I'm afraid.

He says, face your fears.

I raise my hands and slowly reach out. My fingertips meet his chest, then my palms flatten against the front of his shirt. He doesn't move. I feel none of the impulsive emotions of last night, no surging heat or tingling.

So I let my hands slide upwards. I slip them over his shoulders and around his back, and I move closer, until my arms are tight around him and my body presses against his and my chin hooks over his shoulder.

"I need to know I can still touch you without making that mistake again," I whisper.

For myself. For you. For us.

His arms wrap around me too.

"You can," he whispers back.

You are strong.

—

When I wake up the next morning, the gears that were out of place have locked themselves back in again. Sasuke and I go to breakfast hand in hand.

—

The week passes faster than most. Nothing monumental happens, which is in all honesty a relief. I don't even realize until Thursday that Sasuke and I haven't done anything particularly special during the evenings. We do our homework together, eat together, talk together. Sometimes we do things alone; he writes or reads and I listen to music or play games on the internet. Sometimes we walk outside, twice we sit together in the tree, and one night we go hang out downtown with my friends. Somehow it finally feels more like how my life used to be, except that now I have someone to quietly spend evenings with. Yeah, I could get used to this.