skatepark - joshler

twenty seven

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josh was alive; his medically induced coma was to be lifted in fifteen minutes and thirty seven seconds.

but tyler wasn't counting.

tyler couldn't help but wonder why josh had done it. he was just going to the store; it was going to take him fifteen minutes and then he would be back to lay right back down next to him. it would've been like any regular night they had together, why did josh... do that?

perhaps it was tyler. josh would have rather killed himself than be around him. that was probably it, or at least the reason tyler's mind would usually jump to.

but for some reason, it didn't seem plausible. for the first time in his life, the self depreciating route didn't seem like the true way to go. tyler always doubted his ability as a partner but josh had always made it so clear that tyler was worth it, that he wasn't incompetent or annoying.

nine minutes and forty two seconds. the clock ticking and the humming of LED lights above him was starting to tear him apart.

josh's parents had showed up breifly, simply to file themselves as no longer legal guardians. didn't ask about joshua, or how he had even ended up in the ER in the first place. his father had simply eyed tyler, whispered something to his wife, and walked out.

tyler wanted to punch them.

even if he was extremely dehydrated, sleep deprived, and moderately depressed. he'd beat the shit outta josh's homophobic parents any day.

tyler sighed, unusually calm. he rubbed his thighs as the clock struck five before one in the morning. this meant tyler could sit in josh's room until he woke up.

the doctor came to the waiting room and retrieved tyler, leading him to josh's room.

"listen," she said, stopping at josh's doorway. "i understand that it's going to be hard seeing your significant other like this." the doctor shifted. "please do not lash out or overreact."

tyler swallowed. "okay." he said weakly.

the doctor hesitated before swinging door number 3009 open and walking inside, tyler trailing after her.

josh laid on his back, eyes closed. his entire left side of his face looked bruised and beaten, as well as his left shoulder and portions of his arms. several hospital personnel quickly crossed the room, checking josh while they lifted him from his medically induced coma.

all but one of the doctors left the room while josh woke up. tyler swallowed hard as his eyes fluttered open. tyler held his breath, josh looking around the room. when he realized where he was, he leaned his head back, tears streaming down his face.

"...josh..." tyler said, putting his hand on the white bar connected to his hospital bed.

josh mumbled something tyler couldn't hear.

"what?"

"why didn't i fucking die!" josh screamed, his voice coarse. the doctor in the room stiffened, standing forward, but tyler put his hand out before he could say anything.

josh sobbed, letting hot tears flash down his face. tyler sat forward in his chair, gripping the white bar he was holding onto.

"josh." tyler said, his voice stern, but with warning of breaking. "why did you do that." he said as tears came to his eyes.

josh turned to tyler, maintaining pained eye contact. "can i touch you?" josh asked, reaching up to caress the side of tyler's face.

tyler shot up out of his chair, surprisingly not caving in. "no!" he yelled, closing his eyes. "i'm trying to talk to you! this isn't just going to shape back to the way it was two weeks ago!" tyler yelled, hot and angry tears filling his eyes as he stood in the now silent hospital room.

"tyler..." josh said quietly, trailing off.

"what!" he said, sobbing.

"what's on your mind?"
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