skatepark - joshler

twenty one

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josh stood over the hot stove, occasionally stirring the hot soup as the directions on the can instructed.

josh was making it for tyler, his voice scratchy and sore from screaming. his vocal hallucinations were gone for now, so josh had held him in bed until he'd fallen asleep. he'd gotten up silently after he was sure tyler was asleep.

josh poured the soup into a bowl and leaned against the counter, waiting for it to cool down.

he thought about tyler, just like he did every time he had a clear moment to think. he thought about his face and his hands, his lips and the way his eyes shut a little when he laughs. josh didn't get to see him laugh often, but when he did, josh wanted to marry him on the spot. tyler was truly stunning, a masterpiece to josh. even that first day when josh had seen him at the skatepark, tyler had easily been the most attractive person he'd ever seen.

it was tragic, though, josh thought as he stirred the soup in the bowl. he was a tragic kind of beautiful, the kind you see in sappy, romantic movies that you see on public television late at night. relationships like that never seemed to last.

josh sighed, picking up the bowl and leaving the kitchen to walk up the stairs. he stepped into tyler's room, where tyler laid just waking up.

the sun shone onto the white sheets on tyler's bed, pooling around tyler's waist. his shirt was on the floor next to him, covered in sweat and tears and blood. josh sat on the edge of the bed and rested his hand on tyler's thin ankle.

"hey, baby," josh said smiling as tyler slowly sat up. "i brought you somethin'." he held out the soup. tyler took it into his weak hands and held it in his lap. josh slid in and settled next to tyler, their shoulders touching. josh pulled tyler into his lap, tyler humming as josh kissed his bare shoulder.

josh left warm kisses down tyler's neck and shoulders as he finished the soup. he set it aside, melting into josh's embrace.

"hey," josh whispered after a while. tyler tilted his head up, looking into josh's beautiful caramel eyes. "what's going on in that beautiful head of yours?" josh ran his hand over tyler's soft head.

tyler smiled, turning his head to look straight ahead. "i'm better." he whispered back, taking josh's hand and playing with it. "a lot better than this morning."

josh hummed, squeezing tyler's hand. "that's good. what else?" he asked quietly.

tyler thought for a while. "i'm sorry," he said. "i'm sorry you have to see me go through this and that you have to do it with me."

"baby, don't apologize to me." josh said, pulling him closer. "this isn't your fault."

tyler hummed as he sunk further into josh's embrace. "what about you?" he whispered. "what's on your mind, josh?"

josh didn't even have to think. "you." he whispered back, kissing his shoulder. "you're always on my mind. i'm constantly thinking about how much you've changed my life even though we've only been talking for a short amount of time."

tyler was blushing. "you're too good to me." tyler whispered.

josh smiled. "come here," he said, tyler moving so his legs were straddled around josh's waist, facing him. "you deserve the world and more, baby." josh whispered, lifting his hand and holding the side of tyler's face.

tyler's face became more red as josh sweet talked to him. joshua smiled widely, pulling tyler's face in for a quick kiss. tyler lingered, holding onto the back of joshua's head.

josh moved to tyler's waist, his wide hands holding onto tyler's torso, making tyler slightly nervous. josh's finger moved under the side of tyler's boxers waistline, and tyler pulled away.

"please stop." tyler said, hiding his face. josh looked at him, confused. he took his hands off of tyler's waist.

"i-i'm sorry, tyler, i won't do that again-"

"i need to tell you something." tyler interrupted. josh nodded.

tyler breathed heavy, trying to avoid a panic attack. "i-i'm asexual, josh." he said quietly. "i understand if you want to leave i'm sorry i didn't tell you sooner-"

"tyler, look at me." josh said, cutting him off. tyler looked at him, tears in his eyes. "can i touch you?" josh asked. tyler nodded. josh lifted his hand and wiped the tears off his face. "sex doesn't mean anything to me, tyler." josh said, taking his hand. "love can be done a thousand ways and if a sexual relationship is something that you can't have then that's no problem, baby boy."

tyler looked into josh's caramel eyes. josh smiled. "i love you, baby." he said. tyler smiled back.

"i love you too."
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