skatepark - joshler

ten

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-trigger warning-
joshua: hey

joshua: i'm sorry about earlier

joshua: i shouldn't have mentioned it i
just didn't know what to say

tyler: no one does.

joshua: what do you mean?

tyler: no one knows how to react when they see.. that.

tyler: no one understands.

joshua: i do.

tyler: how?

joshua: can you meet me at the park?

tyler: yea

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joshua stepped into the cement clearing as the midnight summer air hung over his joshua's head like a humid bubble. he walked closer onto the pavement, the only light coming from the lamppost out on the street, several yards  away.

joshua peered through the dim lighting and saw tyler; he was sitting under one of the evergreen trees bordering the clearing. he still had the red hoodie and black skinny jeans on as before, and he still looked just as beautiful in the midnight summer darkness.

joshua walked to him and sat down, curling his knees up to his chest. tyler had been crying, his face blotchy and hot.

"what do you mean you understand?" tyler whispered, his voice strained and shaky.

joshua breathed heavy before lifting up his shirt, revealing several cigarette burns dotted across his torso, as well as scrapes and scars, deep but not as deep as tyler's.

out of instinct, tyler put his hand on joshua's toned stomach, running his hand across some of his scars, making joshua sweat.

tyler noticed his nervous breathing and retracted his hand back to his sweatshirt pocket.

"sorry." he said, his voice still quiet and broken.

joshua shook his head. "it's okay," he whispered back. "can i..." he pointed to tyler's hands.

tyler swallowed hard before lifting his hands out of his pocket and pulling up his sleeves. he held them out and looked away.

joshua looked at his face before taking his wrists into his hands, studying the scars on his wrists.

after a while, tyler looked back at joshua, tears in his eyes. he looked up at tyler from his wrists.

"this doesn't define you." he whispered. "i think you're beautiful no matter what's on your wrists, tyler."

tyler stared at joshua with wide eyes, tears falling freely from his scared eyes.

"you're lying." he said, taking his wrists back suddenly.

"no, tyler i'm not," he said, but tyler's mind was already getting to him. he stood up, tears still falling, his face red hot. "i'm not lying to you." joshua said, standing up too.

"yes you are!" he said and a fuller volume. he put his hands to his face and stood there, holding his face. he pulled his hands away after a while of silence. "you're lying to me! i'm disgusting and gross and nothing worth praising! why are you even here!" he yelled, his eyes shut.

"because i love you!" josh yelled back. he immediately put his hands over his mouth, wide eyed and red faced.

tyler stared at him, slightly hunched over. his tears stopped as he stared at josh, his brows furrowed. he ran, sprinting across the concrete and jumping on his board, skating away quickly.

josh didn't go after him.

why was he so stupid? so impulsive?

he sat down in the grass and buried his face in his hands.

he lost his only friend.
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