The Gift Of My Voice (Jack Averyfanfic )

Christmas Was'nt A Good One For Me

Merry Christmas everyone but I wake up feeling like shit, even If it's Christmas I'm not gonna smile and say I'm okay. I just want to lay in bed and not move but I get up and at least say good morning to everyone to My family and open presents. I ended up getting some jewellery from pandora, clothes, make up, a new mac book, money and hugs.

"I invited the boys over for Christmas dinner "

"Didn't they go home "

"They weren't able to, so I thought why not have them over"

"Okay " I say playing with Tristen who is wearing a Christmas onesie and Santa hat, he has more Christmas spirit then I do cause I just have my top from yesterday on and pink pj shorts. I'm not sure how I feel about having jack over if Autumn comes over I'll break down and scream.

"Um are they bringing someone with them" I ask looking st Tristan.

"Yeah they said there bringing a girl called Autumn " she continues to make breakfast.

"Okay, I'm just  going to get ready for the day" I walk up to my room and scream.

I hop into the shower and just let tears fall, I don't know why I keep crying over him but I do, I don't want to move on either his all I've ever wanted and to tell you the truth I didn't break up with him, he broke up with me but that's a story for later. Getting out of the shower and walking to my closet I see autumn and jack standing on the balcony talking, Jack hands Autumn a necklace putting it around her neck and pressing his lips to hers. That should be me not her, not anyone but me. I put on a pair of short overalls and a white crop top underneath and just put a pair of socks on. I don't go back down stairs I sit on my floor and look at my photo wall, a lot of the photos are of me and the boys, me and alice, my mum and Jack. I get up and take down every photo of me and jack and through them into the trash bin in my room.

"I hate you Jack Avery, you stole my heart then broke it" I take the ring he gave me off and put it in the bin. It isn't a promise ring nor an engagement ring. But it was a gold ban from Michael hill and incraved on it, it had I'll take you to the moon and back, I love you B.

But it wasn't true at all he didn't love me, he lied, five months the entire time he lied. But I also lied about something, and I've kept it from him. Because what had happened, happened after we broke up when I found out two weeks after we broke up. I can't tell him now, his with Autumn and I already made the decision. That's another story for later don't worry you'll hear it soon if you keep reading.

It's weird though, it's my first Christmas without my mum, normally she would bring me breakfast in bed when it should have been her in bed and me giveing her breakfast. But she would sit in bed and watch tv with me, it was our tradition on Christmas also birthdays, I miss it, we would make cookies together and drink hot chocolate by the fire place and watch Christmas movies and leave our tree up even after Christmas cause we loved it to much to take it down.  I walk onto my balcony looking up at the grey sky.

"Merry Christmas Mum, I miss you and I love you, getting my voice back is the best gift I could have gotten this Christmas because you gave it to me" I let a tear slip and I close my eyes letting the breeze brush up against me.

"Your welcome my beautiful girl " I hear her voice in my head. 

I go back into my room but decided to go for a walk, dad and Angelia are to busy to notice that I've walked out the door. I eneded up at the beach, sat on the sand looking at the ocean, the thing is when my mum died, I scattered her ashs in the ocean cause she loved the water, whenever she was having trouble writing a song or had a hard day at work she would came to the beach breath in the air and all her troubles would go away. I'm hoping it will work for me.