Worthless

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Corbyn🐯

Hey Bella wanna hang out today with me and Zach. We're going shopping at the grove.

To Corbyn🐯from Bella

Sure I'll be around in five

I was already dressed and showered, I'm wearing black leggings and an over sized black sweater, I put on my black converse, grab my phone, purse and walk next door to the why don't we boys house. I knock on the door and Zach opens it, giving me a hug and we head to the lounge room.

"What up guys" I say entering.

"Hey you "they say in unison.

"Corbyn, Zach ready to go " they get there stuff and we decided to take my car cause it was just us three so we didn't need the van. Zach plugs his phone into the aux cored and blasted his music the whole car ride nearly bursting my ear drums.

"I'm going to go into factorie" I say walking in as they came with me.

"Did Autumn end up going home ?" I ask Zach. While Corbyn looking clothes.

"Yeah she lifted early in the morning, jack went to say goodbye "

"What's your favourite colour ?" He asks me

"Blue "

"Favourite song?"

"Um skinny love, birdy"

"Aspiration in life?"

"Well apart from singing, writing not a song writer but narratives and things like that or a photographer"

"What would you take photos of?"

"Nature, people, art, everything really, there's this really cool art wall near the park by our houses, that I like taking ohtots of because there's always new art to be discovered and be inspired by"

"Favourite memory"

"When I was ten years old, on a rainy day in Sydney, to help me get to sleep my mum sang can't help falling in love it's special, also because she sang it to my dad on their wedding night"

"Favourite flower?"

"what's with all the questions Zach "

"No reason " Corbyn joins us again.

"Okay , up for food cause I'm starving" I payed for the couple of iteams and we went to get lunch.

I had Chinese food and the boys had nandos. They've been asking me questions if my favourite everything for no reason and it's making me wonder what there up to or if they want to know me better?

After lunch we head back to the boys place  and no one is there. So I head home and go straight into my room. I feel the urge to sing,I haven't felt that before, i feel as If I need to, to let it  out and I'm gong to but I'm scared and not wanting to break down but I know I will, even if I try my hardest not to. I've been afraid for so long but music there when you need it and right now I need it. I had a good day out with Zach and Corbyn but I'm still upset about the whole, Jack situation.

I walk into the recording studio take a deep breath in and out. Sitting at the piano and start playing. Every touch sends a chill down my spin and I missed the feeling.

You told me, when you told me, not to write a song about it. But then again I also asked you to be loyal

You were everything that I was ever afraid of,
But against my better judgement I went ahead and fell in love,
You gave me the world,
I gave you my trust,
I invested in you,
You invested in us,
Who would've known you'd hurt me so much.
Because just one night you decided,
That you go ahead and confide in another love,
Undercover, under the sheets.
I'm glad that you told me the truth, but I hate that you said I love you right after you told me
Why do you do what you do
Why do you do what you do

Keep singing Bella, keeping singing. I say to myself trying to hold back the tears that are forming.

I'm feeling worthless (I'm feeling worthless)
I don't deserve this at all,
I'm feeling worthless (I'm feeling worthless)
Because you decided to fall
Back on your promise of us,
Back on on your promise of trust,
Oh I hate you now so damn much,
I'm feeling worthless (I'm feeling worthless)

Tears start streaming down and I can feel myself losing control and about to break down but I keep singing trying to get through

Now a days when I look in the mirror,
What I hate couldn't be any clearer,
I don't like what I see, shit, I don't like me,
You used to like me a lot,
Until that one night that you forgot,
That I-I-I, that I was worth anything.

I'm feeling worthless (I'm feeling worthless)
I don't deserve this at all,
I'm feeling worthless (I'm feeling worthless)
Because you decided to fall
Back on your promise of us,
Back on on your promise of trust,
Oh I hate you now so damn much,
I'm feeling worthless
I'm feeling worthless

I stop singing and playing breaking down into tears, sobbing with my head in my hands. Why did I think I was ready or good enough.

Jack's POV

I watch as Bella starts singing with such power and hope in her voice, but through out she would keep playing but tell herself to keep singing holding back tears. I wanted to see her sing but not like this and not what I'm understanding from the song, that's it about me and probably her ex for what he did. I've been standing there the whole time, I can't just stand here and watch her break down. I run and wrap my arms around her shoulders, resting my head next to hers and she holds onto my arms still crying. I sit on the little piano stool looking into her blue eyes, she's red and puffy but still beautiful and she's not worthless at all.

"Why did I think I was ready " she crys into my shoulder.

"It doesn't matter, you were great and your mum would be proud" I hug her tightly

"She wouldn't be proud of me and I couldn't keep myself together"

"I love what I heard B, please don't ever doubt yourself "

We ended up in her room and no it's not like that, she wanted to lay down and sleep. I'm about to leave when she says something before I do.

"Jack can you stay, please I don't care about all the shit anymore between us, I just want you here"

"Are you sure?"

She nods and I take my shoes off and get under the covers and she cuddles next to me resting her head on my chest.

Bella's POV

I don't care about all the shit that's been going on, I just wanted jack to be here, his the only one I want to be around right now.

I need him.

Hey guys hope Yu like the chapter, I know it could have been a lot better and I'm sorry it isn't but hope you like it and are having a good day. See you next chapter

Bye for now

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