ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR. That's what people say. But for Derek, love is a war and nothing is fair.
Derek used to lived the sweet life, but then, his parents went bankrupt and the life he used to know disappeared. His world was turned up side d...
"I don't know what you want me to say, Derek." He said. "I thought I had made it clear that whatever we had was over."
His eyes grew wide as I stepped towards him. It was as if I could taste his emotions, and dare I say it felt amazing.
I grabbed him by his shirt collar like he had done to me and tapped him near his table. He was so beautiful, so cunningly beautiful. Looking at him now, it wasn't hard to see why I had been attracted to him. Those evil glosses of his eyes were just mesmerizing. That's what caught me off guard in the beginning.
"Why!" I demanded.
"Why what!" He frowned at me. "Wasn't that what you wanted?"
"Why did you break it off?" I got straight to the point. I wanted to yell his name but I doubted that I could do that without spontaneously breaking down.
"Derek, are you drunk?"
"Answer the god damn question."
"You never wanted this..." He raised his voice at me, "You never wanted us." He said signalling between us.
I let go of his collar, and took a step back. he was right. It was what I wanted. "Yes. That was what I wanted." This was useless..
"So what's the problem, Derek?" he said coldly.
"The problem is..." I took in a deep breath. "The problem is that I don't want this to be over." I said.
"Why?"
"Why!? What do you mean 'why'?" I rasped, "Don't you understand..." Why was this so hard to say.
"I don't understand, Derek." He said, "All you've ever told me was that you wanted this to be over..."
"I'm in love you HADEN! Don't you see that? I don't want it to be over!" I all but yelled at him. All those other emotions, I could feel them bubbling to the surface.
His eyes grew wider as my words sank into his mind.
"Are you THAT stupid! How did you NOT KNOW that I was falling in love with YOU!" I yelled at him. "of course it had to be YOU of ALL people!. I don't get it!.." I continued while throwing my arms in the air.
I began to pace. Words were beginning to leave me like word vomit. I couldn't stop it. "do you know how much I hate myself for likening you. I mean you fucking go and decide things on your own. I never get a fucking say in anything. I wished at least once you would just take a clear good god damn look at me and know what I was feeling.. what I was fucking going through! Do you like toying with me!" I paced the room. From the corner of my eye I could see him just standing there frozen. Lost for words, for once.
I approached him again. His eyes cautiously studied me, his lips pared.
I punched him in the face.
Take that! I yelled inside of my head.
"That's for being an asshole!" I yelled at him as he clamped the cut I left on his face. Hitting him felt even better than I expected.
"You know I never understood you! Never! I liked you since... god since high school. But what did you do to me in high school, you made me the fucking laughing stock! And now after SIX whole fucking years I'm here falling in love with you AGAIN. How twisted IS THAT! and you still treat me the same, like I'm f*cking nothing. Like you don't even give a shit about my feelings! I thought you were fucking straight and that felt horrible!" I was definitely dreaming. This whole thing was starting to feel like an out of body experience.
"Derek, stop!" Haden exclaimed and grabbed my hands tightly. He was stronger than I was. I looked up at him. His gaze burned into me. "Say it again" He said in a voice filled with disbelief.
"Do I have to say everything twice!" I signed, "I said I love you. You're the most obnoxious, conceited, cocky, arrogant , self-obsessed, good looking, talented, up yourself guy I know! and let go of me!" I yelled and pulled my arms away.
Why did he have to stand so close.
"you know what the sad thing is, I went crazy wondering whether you even really liked me cause I was SURE that you were straight! I'm still not sure whether you're gay or straight! Then you said you loved me and you know how close I was to believing that shit! Then somehow you fucking crawled into my thoughts and dreams! It's like.....it was like Hell!" I confessed.
"DEREK Slow Down!" He was oddly calm. I looked up at him again. His lips that I wanted to kiss so badly were curled into a smile. Oh he's mocking you DEREK! Said the tiny voice inside my head. He is definitely mocking you! I agreed with the strange voice that sounded like my own.
"Wipe that f*cking smug smirk off your face!" I said and softly punched him. My fist met with his firm chest.
"Derek..." He muttered and took a step closer to me. "Do you really want to get married to me?" He asked, while slowly reaching up and cupping my face between his palms.
"Yes!!" I kept my tone strong. Oh god this was so embarrassing.
"After all I've done? why?"
"WHY? weren't you listening to anything I was saying?" I yelled, my throat felt dry, dusty dry.
"Derek calm down!" He said softly.
"No! I will not calm down!" I talked back, I felt like the air inside me was being sucked out. My head spun. That couldn't be I didn't yell that loudly for me feel like I was about to faint. My feet felt weak but I still stood up straight. Most of my weight was on him.
"Derek, I ended it because... I knew you weren't happy..." his voice trailed away. It sounded distant.
"I've always Lo- Derek Are you okay!" He stopped mid-sentence and changed what he was saying. His voice sounded alarmed and concerned.
What was going on? Everything began to spin.
My body felt light. I couldn't keep my eyes open despite how hard I tried.
The lids kept falling and my own body felt heavy.
With every blink I could see his expression change. He seemed horrified. I felt his arm reaching for my back. He held me tight and tried to keep me standing. My legs gave way and my knees met the ground. His grip tightened and pulled me towards his chest. He fell to the floor with me. I could feel his heavy breath on my face and his heartbeat in my ear. I blinked again. His eyes were bulging out from the sockets and his shirt half opened because my hand was tugging on it tightly and awkwardly. What was going on? I couldn't control my body anymore. I could feel it disappearing. I no longer felt my legs. My grip on him was slowly loosening. My fingers felt weak and I watched as my arm dropped onto me as I lay on the ground with my torso pressed to his.
"Oh no!" I heard another familiar voice in the distance. who was that? Why did they sound so far away.
I saw Haden's lips move, like he was trying to tell me something, but I couldn't hear what he was saying; and soon my eyes shut and everything went black.
It was total darkness.
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Hi cutestuff, i hope you liked this chapter :)
Don't forget to like and comment and let me know what you thought!
it's been a hot minute since i've updated. A full update on what i've been upto (including pictures) can be found tagged to chapter 6 of "His King".
