Regrets

Chapter Twenty-four

I picture Vincent freaking out when I tell him. I see him leaving me. Calling off the wedding and kicking me out. How could I be pregnant by a dead person?

He'd say I was delusional and I either need to stop lying or get out. He would break me.

I don't bother saying anything. I just wait for Vincent to deliberately go through the mail until he gets to the maze envelope addressed to Taylor Ford.

The rest are bills and ads. With each one he drops my stomach twists.

I know this baby isn't Vincent's. I've known since a week after I ran out on him. I've hidden it too long.

Colton is the father of this baby.

The night I ran out on Vincent after him coming home with Claire and all of that drama Colton and I slept together. I was desperate and I thought I still loved him. I thought I still missed him.

It was a lie. It was all a lie. My life is one big lie.

I get up from the table and walk up the stairs through the loft and into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind me.

I long to drag a blade across my skin. To feel a pin burn my wrist and see a blister. I long to feel the pain of anything other than this.

My escape. I just want to be free. I open the medicine cabinet and pull out some antidepressants I was on before the pregnancy.

I stopped eating when I found out I was pregnant. I didn't want to keep this baby. I wanted it, him, to be gone. I stopped eating and kept cutting and taking my antidepressants.

I find my stash of blades next. I pull out the newest one I got from a disposable razor I found in the cupboard. I place it against my wrist and push down a little bit. And then a lot. But I don't drag it across my vein.

"Taylor?" Vincent says knocking on the door causing me to jump and drop my blades and bottle of pills. "What the fuck was that?" Vincent's pounding on the door now. Shaking the doorknob violently.

"Vincent I'm fine. Everything's fine." I snap.

He stops shaking the doorknob and sighs loudly. "Open the door."

I walk over and open it just a little bit. "What?"

"Whats going on?"

"Nothing." I lie.

He pushes through and then takes a step back when he sees the mess on the floor.

He looks at me and grabs my wrists. No cuts.

He bends down and pulls my pants off, I cringe. No cuts there either.

He sits back and leans against the wall.

"Well thanks for stripping me but I could've done it myself." I joke.

He looks up at me, hurt.

"How many pills have you taken?"

"None,"

He starts to get up and before he does so, grabs hold of my jeans and yanks them up, buttoning and zipping them as well.

I close the door before he can leave and push him against the wall.

"It was just a passing thought, Vince. I wouldn't of done it." That's a lie.

Wow Taylor, keep digging this hole for yourself and you'll get buried alive.

He looks at me with clear green eyes and just stares. I see the hurt in them, the desire, the lust, the love. I see it all.

"Did you open the packet?"

He nods.

"I'm sorry, I should've told you-"

"What do you mean?"

"About the results-" I stop when I see he's smiling. "What?"

"The baby is mine, Taylor."

I smile wickedly but inside I'm just so confused.

Then it dawns on me.

The other baby.

Was that one Colton's?

Is that possible? I've read about it before. You can conceive two babies by two different dads if the sex is less than 48 hours apart.

This baby inside of me is Vincent's.

So I fake happy. No worry. No confusion. I'll be happy. I don't need to tell Vincent.

Vincent wraps me in a hug, making me lose my train of thought as the smell of his Axe intoxicates me.

"Mmh." I sigh into his chest.

"It's so amazing, isn't it babes?"

I nod. "Yeah, incredible."

"We're going to have an astonishing family, Love. I can't wait." He smiles and kisses me.

"I should clean up the mess I made."

I pull away and start walking towards the pile of pills and blades when Vincent grabs my belt loop. Talk about déjà vu.

"I have a better idea." He lifts me up and sets me on the counter and kisses me. His lips leave a trail from my lips to my chin to my collar bone. My body starts to tingle and then his lips are gone.

I open my eyes, startled, and see him sweeping up the mess. He lifts the dust pan over the toilet and dumps everything in.

He flushes it and I flinch ever so slightly.

He comes back over to me and kisses my collarbone some more.

"Now we can be truly happy." He says against my skin.

I laugh at the tickling sensation and he makes his way back to my lips.

He grabs my bottom and pulls me closer, then carries me to bed.