Regrets

Chapter Eight

It's been ten days since I've consumed food through my mouth. They had to start feeding me through a tube. It's been ten days since I've spoken. Camilla seems to be getting lonely, but she isn't the only one.

It has been ten days since Colton's death.

The doctor comes in every now and then. He tells me how my recovery is going. He doesn't expect me to say anything. He just tells me and leaves. He doesn't even try and cheer me up. He's nice. It's kinda weird I've never actually looked at his face, nor do I know his name. I only ever thought about Colton... now he's gone.

A single tear rolls down my cheek as my nurse comes in for my scheduled tube feeding.

"Good afternoon, Taylor." She smiles. I just stare blankly at her. She takes out the needle to inject into the medicine bag attached to the tube that leads to my stomach. Even though they're forcing me to eat, I've become skin and bones.

I like it.

I like the look of my collar bones. My hip bones. My ribs. Even my ankles seem to be a little bonier. Bones. They're so beautiful.

"Okay... well time to get some food into you."

I really don't want to eat. I don't want to have the weird feeling of things going inside of me without confirmation of what it actually is.

"Wait," I gasp. My voice is hoarse from not speaking in a week and a half.

Camilla looks stunned, but she doesn't move.

Finally she speaks, "Taylor you have to eat."

"I will... but not this. I want to go down to the hospital cafeteria. Eat real food. Please." I plead. Her eyes soften and a smile crosses her face.

"Only because you're finally talking. I'm supposed to take lunch here shortly. I'll eat with you. Be back in twenty minutes."

I give her a weak smile and she walks out.

I throw the blanket off me and gather some clothes from the suitcase on the windowsill. They recovered these things from my car. I see Colton's suitcase right next to mine. My eyes burn.

I open it and pull out a shirt, replacing mine. It smells of his cologne. Which is also in there. I take it with me to the bathroom. The shirt I grabbed was my favorite. Navy blue with 'Hollister' plastered on the front in bold red letters.

My jeans are too big, also. They're supposed to be super skinny, but they look more like baggy sweatpants on me.

I hop on the scale.

98 pounds.

My heart races.

No way I'm this skinny. A huge smile creeps across my face and I wrap my arms around my waste. I don't even have to see it to know that my spine is sticking out further than it should. I check my wristwatch. Camilla should be back in a matter of thirteen minutes. Just enough time to get out. I put on my grey Vans and grab my jacket. I feel around in my purse for mine and Colton's money. I slide out the door. Everyone must just think I'm a visitor. No one that I recognize is in site. I shove my hands deep in my pocket and start walking.

I recognize my doctors voice as he turns the corner talking to a woman. I look at my wristwatch again. It's time for his daily "tell-me-how-I'm-doing". I'm obviously fine. My casts are off and I only walk with a slight limp. My ribs feel fine. They still have a wrap around them.

I slip into an open and empty room. A maid is in there cleaning. She pays no attention to me, probably because she doesn't speak English.

I see my doctor pass the door and I walk out, just in time to run into someone.

"Shit I'm so sorry." I utter.

"No, no my fault." He speaks with an accent. Not sure what, though.

His eyes are an emerald green with gold specks. I can't stop looking into them. His hair is just below his earlobe and is the color of the night sky, black. He has an amazing jaw line, and he's smiling a gorgeous smile. At me? Am I drooling? Oh my god. My hand flies to my lip.

Dry.

Score for Taylor.

"I'm Taylor." I smile.

"Vincent. Or Doctor Everest depending on your presence."

"I'm just a visitor." I lie.

"I'm about to head out to lunch. Care to join me?"

I smile. "Sure,"

He grabs his keys from the break room down the hall and we head out.

I'm out of the hospital.

I'm away from this hell.

I'm free again.