Ashes to Burn (Work In Progress)

Ashes to Burn - Chapter Thirteen

***This story is intended for mature audiences, as it contains graphic violence, gore, coarse language and some sexual content. Viewer discretion is strongly advised. 

December 18th, 2015

20:00 hours

IRANR Outpost Station #45, Russia

Patrols. 

Four fucking days, and I’m still on Goddamn patrols.

Andy, Oliver, and Lloyd are leaving tomorrow. Mouse, Jake and Derek are going with them. They get to go, and I’m stuck here. Who does she think she is? Does she think I’m a kid or something? I saved her life.

“Julie!” I heard Andy’s voice snap me from my thoughts. I looked up to see a wall in front of me. I shook my head and turned around. Andy was standing with a smirk on her face, looking at the wall.

“Better watch where you are going.” She said, walking towards me. I grumbled a laugh and scratched the back of my head. I felt anger, rage, disappointment and sorrow. I didn’t want her to leave. Not now.

Not ever.

“Julie, are you okay?” I heard my sister’s voice ring in my ear. I looked up at her with tears in my eyes. She held my eyes with her own and tried to read into me. She stepped a little closer and pulled me into her. She wrapped her arms around me and kissed the top of my head.

“I don’t want to leave you, Julie, but I have to.” I heard her voice. I reached under and pulled myself away from her.

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why aren’t you taking me with you? I can’t be that much of a burden can I? And why are you taking Mouse? What the fuck is wrong with you?” I spat bitterly. I saw Andy flinch before she took a step back.

“I can’t let you come, Julie. I need you to be safe. We went over this. I need you to be okay, and I need for everything over here to be okay. I know that you’ll take care of everyone better than anyone else. And as for Mouse, we need a medic with her training on the team. I promise you nothing will happen to her, Julie. I swear on my life.” She said, putting a hand on her chest. I reached forward and grabbed the collar of her shirt.

“You better, dammit!” I growled, glaring at her. Andy’s eyes drooped and she sighed. I glared at her, my eyes fierce with defiance.

“And you better come back, too.” I said strongly, pulling her into my arms. I grabbed hard at her jacket and pushed my head into her shoulder, crying hard. My arms held onto her and I felt my heart pound out of my chest. Andy wrapped her arms around me and rested her head upon mine.

“I will. I promise.” Her voice was low and strained. I cried harder, digging my fingers into her coat. We stayed like that for awhile, holding each other tight.

Finally, Andy let go and stroked my head. I sniffled and wiped my tears. She and I walked to my room without a word, for there was nothing but silence that was needed. I kept my head down as we passed people in the hallways. I wasn’t ashamed, I was scared.

We got to my room and we stopped. I opened my door and turned to see Andy’s face once more. I nodded my farewell and shut the door. 

I crumpled against the door and fell down to my knees. I held my head in my hands as I cried. I cried for my mother and father, for Andy, for Mouse.

I cried for everyone.

I walked over to my bed and looked at the uniform laying down on it. It was crisp and clean, as it had just been washed. Angry, I smacked it off the bed and kicked it away from me. I closed my eyes and took in a breath. I was going crazy.