The She Wolf (Old Version) Being renewed

{24} She Warrior

Roman plopped down next to me as I munched on my sandwich, the craving from earlier giving me nauseous so I made a special sandwich instead. I yanked a piece of the sandwich as I sniffed, chewing forcefully. "I can't believe this, it's so sad. He died, poor dog. He fought for nothing, he died a hero though." I bit down my sandwich, turning to face Roman who had knitted eyebrows and a hand in his hair as he ruffled it.

"Are you kidding me?" I raised one eyebrow at him, "I'm here, suffering for that poor dog and you give me that look? Insensible!" I stood up as I bumped against his legs, stalking my way into the kitchen. Now that the pack house was destroyed, I came to live with Roman while the other ones were put in different pack houses until ours and some of the others who were destroyed get reconstructed.

"What are you doing?" Roman asked me as I looked around the kitchen, "What does it look like?" I turned around to look at him with my hands on my hips. "Fighting with you gave me hunger. That what happens. " Roman shook his head with a scoff, grazing down his bottom lip. "What?"

"You just eat a sandwich." I stood up straight at that, "Are you calling me fat? That's what you're saying? That I got some extra killos? Some extra weight? What a douche! Unbelievable. I can't believe that my mate is such a cruel person." My eyes filled with tears at that, touching my side as I rubbed my stomach.

I gaped, "You're right." I glanced down at my stomach, "I'm so fat! My abs are gone! Gone, do you understand?" I glanced up at him as I sniffed, "Goodbye abs, goodbye she warrior position, goodbye training, goodbye everything. This sucks. Oh God, I'm having another mental breakdown. This isn't even healthy anymore." I rushed past Roman and out of the kitchen, heading toward our room.

I closed the door, leaning against the door. "Rousey, come on. It's just the pregnancy hormones, not a mental breakdown. Can you calm down for a second? You're just agitating yourself for silly things."

I gaped, curling my hands up as I turned around and opened the door. "Rousey..." I punched him in the face, shaking my throbbing hand at that. "Silly things? Fatness, cellulitis, bloat feet, a wrecking ball of emotions. Are you calling those silly things? Yeah, of course. Says the one who doesn't have to weight a ton no? I have five more months to go, I didn't realize until you pointed out that I was fat, how bad is that? Your mate who is supposed to protect you and take care of you tells you that you're fat?"

"I didn't say that, and you're not fat, you're pregnant, that's different. Hey, I don't care of your fatness, cellulitis, bloat feet, I do care of your wrecking ball of emotions because you're painting me as the bad guy and I'm not the bad guy." He caressed my face and I closed my eyes at that, "I need love Rousey, you've been treating me bad lately."

I snapped my eyes open at that as I leaned back, removing his hands from my face, "Me, I'm the one who has been treating you bad lately, okay." I stepped back, slamming the door close in his face. "Asshole!" I pushed away from the door as I made my way toward the bed, slumping down. "Ugh!" I screamed loudly when I couldn't sleep on my front. No, I love to sleep on my belly.

There's nothing we can do Rousey, back it is. I turned around, sighing deeply. I smiled, grazing down my bottom lip as I rubbed my stomach. Roman opened the door at that and I pushed my body up, "Please Rousey, let's have some intimate moment. We need some time alone." Roman placed his hands on the bed on each side of me as he leaned forward. I pouted, my hands touching his upper arms as I brushed them up and down.

He kissed my lips and I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as he put his hands on my back, leaning us down on the bed. I gasped, "What?" Roman leaned up as he stared down at me with knitted eyebrows, "I have a craving." Roman groaned as I moved him aside, "And, I'm craving you." I hovered above him, removing my blouse. "I love seeing you naked, and now pregnant more." He touched my stomach, brushing my sides.

"Less talk and more action." I removed my bra as I leaned down, kissing him passionately. He rolled us over, taking his shirt off. I grazed down my bottom lip as I interlaced out hands, kissing me heatedly.

Our clothes disappearing as we made love to each other, it felt good too. A change, I'm loving this change. Sometimes, it's not all about being rough, getting to the big O, the orgasm or the climax you were expecting. Sometimes, it's about the slow, gentle, passion, love. It's beautiful and amazing.

I cuddled against Roman, brushing his hair as he gave me a big smooch, "I missed you." I pouted sadly, running my fingers through his hair. "Me too, these damn rogues, even through they caused a riot, brought you back to me. I needed you here, I felt alone. I needed my mate, I needed his kisses, I needed his love, I was sad and angry. Now that you're back, I know one thing, I can't live without you Roman and that my mother was right. Being with you is where I needed to be. I, I was blinded by the dream of being the she warrior."

"When I was little, my father used to tell me this story about a girl who dreamed of being the she warrior. At the story, my mind wandered around. My father was a pack warrior, he could train me. I could be one. I felt so excited Roman."

"My father trained me, at first. I was you know, thinking it was more of a play thing but my father took it seriously you know. He told me, being a she warrior, is a dedication, its the need to protect your pack at all cost. It's not a play thing, and if you're doing this just for play, I'm telling you now that you're in the wrong place. But if you tell me now that you really want this, I'll help you get there."

"My father trained me, I would groan in the early morning but it would be worth it at the end. Then one day, the Alpha, you're father. Came to our house, the packs nearby were getting attacked. They gathered the best warriors, I remember crying to my father, telling him not to go. My heart ached, I felt it, I felt my father leaving, I felt him dying. I begged him to stay but he didn't."

"He promised me that he'll be back, he kissed my forehead and told me, when you close your eyes and wake up in the morning, I'll be there." I glanced up as tears filled my eyes, "When I woke up, I was excited, my father was home and everything will be okay again. He will train me and I'll be the first she warrior ever in the pack. Sadly, my father never came, yours did instead. I remember looking for my father, asking excitedly where he was."

"Then, I looked at my mother. She had tears in her eyes, then I turned to look at your father who shook his head at me. I remember crying, crying and blaming your father, my mother for not stopping him and my father for leaving when I asked him not to. He broke me Roman, my father broke me. I was his girl, I loved him with all I have instead and I still do."

"Then, I blamed me. I was mad at myself for thinking like that. My father was my hero, and I was paying him by blaming him? I started to train with the warriors, of course when I came they laughed at me, a girl, a girl warrior? They laughed at my insanity, thinking that I wouldn't make it a day. I stayed, I past the tests."

"Dwayne came along, strutting and acting all big bad wolf because he was the Alpha's son. Your uncle, give him the control. He acted like he had the power, I still remember everything he did to me huh, he put me through a lot but I'm here, I made it. I got the title even though he woke me up at four in the morning for three long years, made me run the territory three times and then push ups, sit ups, stretches. He made me fight men three to four times my weight."

"Sometimes, I would go home black and blue, my body hurting. I would crawl to bed after taking a warm shower. All that was worth it, I didn't want to risk it all, lose it all. I fought too hard, I made the impossible to be where I am now. That's why the breakdown. Because deep inside I feel that If I don't do this, I'm going to fail, I'm going to disappoint my father.

"I don't regret punching you, I don't regret having sex with you, I don't regret going on that date and I definitely don't regret being pregnant. The breakdown was more than that, these things were just an excuse, I hate not being the she warrior because I feel like I failed my father. And that's why I can't let it go. If I do, I will keep having these mental breakdowns. My father and I, we're linked by me being the she warrior. If I let that go, I will let my father go and I can't and won't let that happen."