Just A Slave To Rock n' Roll [Brustoff]

Chapter 12

A/N: 6K words... Fuck, this chapter is long! Lmao, I'm sorry, bye.

"I swear I'm gonna fucking stab him one day." I said to no one in particular, but expected everyone to react to it.

I was currently sitting on my bed with my right hand in a cookie jar filled with cold water as my palm started to swell. I maybe made the bone go back in its place, but I did dislocate it after all and I couldn't expect my body to just ignore that no matter how bad I wanted it to.
Austin was standing in the corner of my room with Alan by his side, Andy was sitting on my drawer while that Taylor chick stood beside him leaning onto the drawer and Lzzy was sitting on the bed next to me.
"I don't know why you're so obsessed with him still." Austin rolled his eyes.
Because he was fucking with my head making me think about him in ways I shouldn't even be thinking about any guy let alone him! Because he was playing God and bossing everyone around and on top of that he tied me up in a dark room and I had to free myself by dislocating my fucking palm!
I wanted to scream at him, but I stopped myself. "Are you really saying that right now?" I just asked in disbelief. "He fucking proclaimed himself Captain!"
"He's kinda right." Andy told Austin. "I thought it's gonna be fun watch Denis lose it while trying to beat Bruce in their little snarky comment contests, but this is way bigger than that now. He's practically saying we all have to obey him now."
"Okay, shut up dick head." I held my free hand up to Andy even though he actually agreed with me. "The thing is that he fucking left the whole crew in rescue boats in the middle of the ocean and threatened to do the same to us if we don't praise him."
"Well, I'm not gonna praise him and if he wants to leave me in the middle of the ocean I can't wait for him to at least try." Alan said pulling off the tough punk kid act.
He was rather small to make comments like that. He may be Austin's boyfriend, but he still annoyed me.
"Couldn't he like lift you with just his left arm?" I shot him a glare.
"Maybe, but I'd bite his hand right off if he tired." Alan shot back at me.
I looked at Austin. "Watch out so he doesn't do that with your dick."
Andy and Lzzy laughed while Austin just rolled his eyes.
"You know, you're just being an asshole now." He said.
"Yeah, probably." I wasn't gonna deny it. I was.
I was also honest and straight forward and I didn't care. Austin knew that. In fact, pretty much everyone in this room knew that.
"Why are you so bitter?" Austin asked me.
"Because my hand is in a fucking cookie jar!" I yelled.
"And because he hasn't had sex in like two weeks." Andy added laughing as I death stared him.
"What happened to your hand anyways?" Austin asked me ignoring Andy.
"I..." Well, I wasn't gonna tell him that I found about Bruce's little plan before he even acted on it. Nor was I going to tell him, and everyone in the room, that Bruce knocked me out and tied me up who knows where. "I got in a fight." I picked my lie.
"With who?" Austin asked.
"What do you think dumb ass?!" I snapped. "With our new Captain, with who... Jesus."
I knew I was even a bigger dick then usual, but can you fucking blame me really? I hated Bruce, I really did, but then again, I wanted... Well fuck, I didn't even know what I wanted.
"And his jawline is so hard that you broke your hand?" Austin teased me.
"I did not break my hand!" I yelled making Andy and Lzzy cry out from laughter again. "And his jawline is nothing. He doesn't even have one."
I rambled at this point, I knew it, but I couldn't help it. I needed to convince myself first that there was nothing intriguing about him. That he was nothing and that this strange attraction I had towards him was just a product of him messing with my head.
"I think we should all just ignore him." The blond chick spoke. "I mean, he wants power, right? But he can't get any if we just ignore him."
Taylor Momsen, her full name was I believe.
I looked her up and down. She was really tall, like, probably taller than me. She had on a really short black dress that revealed her long model legs. She was probably naturally skinny considering her height and I could see she had small boobs. It suited her very much though. She had a circle shaped cute face and an utter look of 'don't care' on it and the heavy, black eye make-up she had on only made her look more badass.
"Can I fuck you?" I asked not even caring.
As I said before I was pretty straight forward, and after that incident with Ariel last night, I just needed to prove myself wrong. It helped that Taylor was much hotter then Ariel too.
All the guys in the room just snorted as they were used to me being... well, myself, and Lzzy just glared at me. A bit amazed even.
"What?" Taylor spoke.
She didn't sound offended or shocked. Actually, she sounded exactly how she looked - like she didn't care.
"You heard me." I said.
"Umm... I'm a lesbian." She said like that was supposed to mean something.
"You didn't answer my question." I just said.
Lzzy smacked me with a pillow. "You're not going to fuck her Denis." She rolled her eyes at me not sounding mad just kinda annoyed.
"Alright then." I just said giving up as my confidence left me.
"I think we should all leave him alone for a bit." I heard Austin say and as I glanced at him he had this worried look on his face.
"Fine with me." I heard Taylor say. "See this is why I'm a lesbian. You should go gay." She muttered to  Lzzy as she hopped off the bed and they left my room.
"I'm gonna go get drunk." Andy said and hopped off my drawer heading along with the company.
"Meet you at my room." Austin told Alan before kissing him quickly and then as he went out the door Austin closed the door behind him leaning onto it waiting for the footsteps to fade away.
Then he came towards me and sat next to me. "What is it dude? Tell me." He said and his tone was just so loving that it made me sigh hopelessly.
"Nothing..." I tried, but just by the look Austin gave me I knew it wasn't going to work.
"I can tell something's bothering you." He said. "I can see it in your eyes."
I sighed again. "Agh, I just... I don't know."
And that was honest - well, not really, but kinda. I did have absolutely no idea of what was happening, but I knew what caused most of it. Or more precisely - who.
"Spill it Denis." Austin told me. "I'm listening."
I'd love if it was that easy, but it was beyond ridiculous to me in a way. I couldn't have a thing for a guy. I mean, I never did before why would suddenly be any different? Especially since the guy in the question was a guy that I, no doubt, hated.
"I... Um... Did you..." Ah fuck, why was it so hard to ask? Come on Denis, it's your best friend, just ask. "How did you first know... well... you know, that you liked guys?"
I was so embarrassed to ask him that question because he's gonna jump to an obvious conclusion just like any other person in their right mind would.
"You have a thing for a guy?" He asked me kinda shocked, like that was the last thing he expected me to say.
"No!" I shot a bit too fast blushing furiously. "I'm just... curious."
"Really?!" He smirked. "That blush says otherwise."
"That blush says you're making me uncomfortable and that you should stop." I snapped. "Now answer my goddamn question."
Austin just chuckled. "Chill Den-Den." He teased me, but then finally decided to answer me. "Okay, for me it was 8th grade I think. I honestly never even thought about my sexuality or things like that before that. It was 'normal' to like girls and I knew I did, liking a guy never crossed my mind until... well, until I did. I don't know if you remember him, but his name was Shay."
"You liked Shay?!" I blurred out not being able to stop myself.
"Okay, you do remember." He chuckled. "Anyways, yeah, I liked him. I tried to deny it at first, I tried to hide it with trying to get a girlfriend, I tried to ignore it, but trust me you can't. You just have to accept it, it's a part of you. When I finally accepted it, it wasn't a big deal anymore - that's why I haven't even told you or Andy. My crush for Shay faded and I didn't have any kind of feelings for any guy after that - till Alan that is. Sure, I flirted with guys I thought were hot and you know that because I did it in front of you, but it was nothing where I'd actually want to go further than that, so really, it can also depend on a guy too."
"Ha." I clicked my tongue thinking about what he just told me.
'Just accept it, it's a part of you', okay yeah I honestly just wanted to laugh. I was still pretty convinced Bruce was just messing with my head.
"So, who's the lucky guy?" Austin teased me again.
"I already told you, I was just curious." I defended myself.
Austin just rolled his eyes dramatically. "Curious to know if my experience will be similar to what you're experiencing right now?"
"Shut up." I punched his shoulder playfully. 
After a moment of silence Austin climbed onto the bed letting his legs lay straight across it as he leaned his back onto the wall mimicking my position.
"Besides that, something else you might wanna talk to me about?" He asked me.
"I kinda miss home." I muttered.
"Wow, really?" Austin asked his voice filled with disbelief. "You can't be missing that place Denis, you know you can't. If we haven't gotten out of there he would've killed you sooner or later."
"I know." I said simply then sighed and added more. "It's just that this place was awesome at the beginning, but now it's just stressing me out. I mean, Bruce has taken over the ship, and he just acts so... narcissistic and egoistical... like the whole world is his and like he's the best thing to ever happen to the universe... Like, he carries himself like he's made of gold or something and he allows himself literally anything..." I haven't realized I was rambling until Austin's long sigh didn't stop me.
"Oh man, it's him isn't it?" He said.
"What?" My head snapped to him.
"You're crushing on Bruce, aren't you?" He said it like it was expected because I was a clear idiot.
Damn, maybe I should've kept my mouth shut, he knew me too well.
"What? No!" I shot too fast again. "Why the hell would I ever crush on him?"
"Because you always end up loving the things you hate." Austin said like he expected my question. "You like intimidating and you like dangerous, you literally gravitate towards it."
"That..." Was true. "Is not true." I said as casually as I could.
"Mmhmm." Austin muttered sarcastically.
"Not in this case at least." I said and that was probably the first full truth I said to him today.
Bruce maybe intimidated the fuck out of me, but our relationship was based on destroying one another. The only thing I wanted was to show him that fucking with me had consequences and that he was about to see my bad side which is gonna make him fear me badly.
This was exactly that and my strange attraction for him might as well just came from my excitement about wanting to prove him wrong.
That actually made sense. It was it. I solved it.
The only thing I really needed to do right now was to just go ahead and prove him wrong.
I turned my head to the side to look at Austin and say something more in case he wasn't convinced, but before I could exactly the guy we were talking about interrupted us.
Well not exactly him, but his voice coming from the speaker.
"All passengers down to the control room." Bruce's voice echoed from the speaker. "I repeat, all passengers down to the control room now. I have an announcement to make and I'm pretty sure you're all gonna like it."
I felt rage build up in side of me. I didn't know exactly why, but I didn't question it. Perhaps it was just about the way he spoke. He didn't sound like a Captain, he just sounded like he was having fun with it and it pissed me off for some reason.
I looked at Austin who just shrugged and got up from my bed.
I looked at him questioningly. Was he really going to obey him?
"Come on Denis, you know you're curious about what he's up to." He told me and as much as I hated to admit it he was right.
I took my hand out of the now slightly warm water that was in cookie jar and put the jar on the night stand beside my bed.
I dried my hand into my jeans barely even feeling a thing. My hand was still slightly swollen, but it was also numb from the cold.
"Okay. Let's go." I said and followed Austin out of my room joining the crowd that headed towards the control room.
When we got down there I pushed through the mass stumbling out in front of them as my eyes fell on Bruce, James and Sam who were standing in front of the control room in their recognizable triangle position.
I felt Bruce's gaze fall to me just for a second and he smiled.
"I may be the new Captain, but the old traditions are still valid." He started smiling wider at the crowd. "We're stopping in Portugal in like less then 48 hours for 2 says. There's this festival going on - Metallica is headlining, Avenged Sevenfold is a special guest and Skillet is opening."
The hallway erupted with cheers and screams of excitement. That indeed was a good lineup, but I couldn't help, but notice how satisfied Bruce was with the reaction he was getting out of the crowd. 
I knew what he was doing. He was trying to make them forget about what he did to the real crew of this ship.
And besides, haven't I heard James and Sam speaking about heading towards the UK. Bruce alone showed me on his maps that we were supposed to be heading towards England.
As I can recall, he had to get to London to free Cameron - if he was still alive, so why would he suddenly change his mind and just take us to Portugal with no benefits of his own.
There was something huge I was missing here.
"As always, you're now gonna go into the control room in lines of 10 by 10, and you're gonna get your green cards." Bruce said happily and moved to the side with Sam while James went to open the door.
This time I wan't gonna rush into the room get my card and get the fuck out, I purposely let people go before me so I could be with the last ones.
I needed to figure out what Bruce was up to.
It took about 15 minutes until the last line, and me with it, haven't entered the control room. Just like everyone else I grabbed my green card, but when everyone exited the control room I stayed in standing behind the door.
I heard the footsteps of other passengers fade away and that's when all three members of the new crew dropped the professional act.
"Bother to tell us now, Ben?" James asked strictly.
Considering how harsh his tone was, they must've though I went with the others. I doubt they'd jump into a full discussion if they knew I was practically right behind them.
"I'd rather not." Bruce said in that 'whatever' tone of his and I heard his footsteps head down the hallway.
There was a few stops as James and Sam probably ran towards him stopping him.
"We can't keep blindly following you in every decision you make." Sam said.
"Too bad 'cause that's the only choice you've got for now." Bruce just told them as I peeked out of the control room towards them.
James and Sam were both holding him by his shoulders looking quite pissed while Bruce just look kinda cheerful.
"Why do you have to be such a dick?" James asked letting go of him.
Bruce just smiled at him. "It's in my blood." He clicked his tongue. "Now both of you, get to the Captains cabin and turn the ship around. We're heading south."
"Cameron better be alive and ready to cooperate because if not, you'll be dead next." Sam said and with that I heard both Sam and James sigh before they walked in the opposite direction from Bruce leaving him alone in the slightly dark hallway.
I soon heard his light footsteps again as he continued his way down the hallway. I got out of the control room looking down the hallway thinking about following him.
Last time I did that, it didn't really go so well, but then again curiosity was killing me.
You don't like him Denis, I reminded myself, so there was nothing that could go wrong. I just can't let him mess with my head.
I was a bit unsure as I took a few hesitant steps after him, but I streamed down the hallway as soon as I saw Bruce slip into another one.
I tried to keep my footsteps as quiet as possible, but by the time it crossed my mind that I should maybe tip-toe I already gave myself away.
"I could hear your stomping from a mile away, you know?" Bruce said not even turning to me nor stopping in his tracks.
I sped up not letting him discourage me, stopping just when I was in front of him making him stop as well.
"What are you up to Bruce?" I eyed him suspiciously.
"What do you mean?" He smiled at me playing dumb when in all reality he probably knew I was in the control room all along.
"You know exactly what I mean." I said, but he just looked at me amazed then walked around me continuing his path.
I just stared after him for a few moments before I ran down after him. I have to get at least something out of him.
"Aren't we supposed to head towards the UK?" I asked hoping he'll get lost in my questions and eventually just spill it all. "Why Portugal mow all of a sudden?"
He just ignored me walking rather fast and I had to run every few steps to keep up with him.
"Shouldn't you be giving everything into getting Cameron back?" I asked - I probably shouldn't had because he stopped dead in his tracks and turned to me.
"You... Don't you dare speak about Cameron and what I should and shouldn't be doing." He hissed.
He didn't sound mad though. He just sounded like he purposely wanted to scare me off of the topic.
He may be confusing, but I've spent enough time around him to catch on with a few things about him.
"It's hard to take you seriously when all you do is spill empty threats." I said crossing my arms on my chest.
Bruce just chuckled before he turned around continuing his walk.
"Danny wouldn't agree with ya." He clicked his tongue cheerfully and I fastened my pace again as I tried to keep up with his swift footsteps.
"I don't care about Danny." I said. "You haven't done anything to me. I'm starting to think that you can't quite hurt me."
"You think?" He stopped again smiling at me wickedly.
Okay fuck, I was so stupid. I haven't even realized how fucking flirty my sentence sounded until I haven't said it out loud.
He couldn't miss one opportunity to mess with me, of course he couldn't, I wanted to scream at myself for being so stupid as he slowly walked towards me leaving that familiar feeling of intimidation climb up my spine.
"I'm kinda sure." I said keeping up to my game.
"You know, it's amazing how you know exactly what I'm capable of and you still dare to stand in a dark corridor with me." Bruce spoke slowly but resonantly letting every one of his words echo out in my ears before he closed the gap between us slamming me into the wall.
I gasped for air as heat struck through me without a warning, but I tried to appear as calm as I could.
"I'm trained to do stuff you can't even think of." He spoke quietly his voice low. "In many many aspects."
He held my hands above my head with only one of his while he used his whole body to keep me in place.
"I can make you scream Denis." He said looking directly at my eyes while his free hand traveled down my chest his fingertips slipping just below the waistband of my jeans as he pulled me towards him then rolled his hips slamming me back into the wall. "Loud." He whispered.
My breathing was shallow and I bit on my lip not to make a sound yet I still let out a quiet groan as my eyelids fell shut. My heart was pounding and cold sweat appeared on my skin contradicting my inner fire as shiver after shiver went down my spine.
I looked back at his wicked blue eyes surprisingly calm not moving a muscle. I couldn't. My mind was blank and all I could hear was ringing as the heat of my body rose just like a thermometer stuck into a hot cup of tea.
Bruce smiled knowing exactly what he was doing to me - just like every other time. The only difference now was that I could hear him breathe heavily as well.
"Fuck." I heard him whisper before he moved away leaving me almost falling over when I lost his support.
It took me a moment to catch my breath and when I glared back at Bruce, he looked almost as equally out of it as I was.
"Fuck, you should really stop doing that." Bruce breathed out drawing his hand through his hair and I could tell he was trying to gather back his control.
"What?" I blinked still not really processing what was happening, but then every bit of lust I let myself taste turned into anger. "I'm not doing anything! You're the one messing with me!" I wanted to yell, but my tone just went high as I ran towards him.
It was always like this and I couldn't understand how the fuck didn't I learn by now.
Bruce held out his hand in front of me taking a step back. "See, this!" He yelled. "You should really stop doing this - getting close to me. Stop it! Stop being so... you." He groaned then turned around speed walking down the hallway leaving me to stand there in shock.
What the fuck did that even fucking mean?!
I ran down after him but before I could get his shoulder and turn him around to face me, he grabbed my wrist rather roughly making me wince in pain. He then grabbed my other hand putting me in a bit of a padlock. A rather painful one may I add.
He held me in place a lot of times before, but I couldn't recall him hurting me in the process.
"Let go of me." I hissed clenching my teeth as I tried to ignore the pain.
He was stronger than I thought.
"Why do you keep following me?" He asked. "You can't trust me. I could kill you if I wanted to and you know it. I'm dangerous. I'm evil. Why do you keep coming back to me? Why don't you just ignore me?"
"I... I just can't." I choked out not being able to stop myself on time.
It wasn't just that I couldn't ignore him. There was just something about him that made me crave his presence - the mystery of it. His closeness. Just... him in general.
Bruce just stared at me for a couple moments.
"Why?" He asked then.
There wasn't a bit of recklessness or challenge in his voice, he just sounded... curious?
I didn't have it in me to explain to him anything. I didn't have it in me to explain it to myself even - and that was because I had no idea.
"Why don't you just disappear?" I answered him with a question. "I've seen you done it before - become one with the dark. Hm, why don't you? Why don't you just ignore me?!"
"Because I just..." He was about to yell, but he stopped himself on time and let me go.
Can't. That's what he wanted to say. 'Because I just can't.'
I stayed silent softly rubbing my wrists that were already starting to bruise because of his grip.
"Stay away from me." He told me. "Next time I'm gonna break your fucking wrist without hesitation." He threatened.
I didn't care. He practically just admitted that he liked being around me, and although I hate to admit it, it made me wonder.
He was like a horror move mystery that I desperately wanted to solve as I was the dumb main character that was bound to die because of his curiosity.
I didn't care. If anything, it was kinda hot.
"Why do you always have to push me away?" I asked.
"Because. It's easier that way." He said his voice softening as he crossed his arms on his chest.
That was usually a gesture of annoyance or anger, but he just looked kinda vulnerable.
"You'll leave in the end." He said. "Just like everyone else did."
My heart pounded faster. Did he actually just tell me something about himself. It was an intimate sentence. A sentence that said so little but so much at the same time.
Bruce just glared at me then, waiting for my reaction.
I panicked a bit. I mean, I wanted to say something, I even wanted him to go on, but then again aren't we supposed to hate each other? I couldn't be feeling sympathy for him, right?
"I can see you're thinking about what you could say or do to make it better, but don't even try." He said. "Nothing can."
He then headed on his way through the hallway, but slowly this time. He wasn't running nor speed walking, perhaps he expected me to just leave now.
"Wait!" I called out to him, but he didn't stop nor respond, he just kept walking. "Hey, wait! Ben..."
I saw him stumble in his footsteps a bit and just when he froze, I realized what I did.
Ben. I called him Ben.
I could hear my own voice as I said his name over and over again in my head and it sounded so soft that it almost didn't even sound like me.
I suddenly wanted to throw up. I was acting like I cared about him for fuck's sake!
I hurried towards him though as I got the reaction I wanted - he stopped.
"Where are you going?" I asked when he started walking again, but keeping pace with me.
"Just... There is a place on this ship that calms me." He said an I didn't question it further as we slipped from hallway to hallway eventually crossing the ones that went up as we stumbled out on deck below the clear shiny night sky above us.
We walked a bit further heading over to the fence of the ship.
We didn't speak. We let the silence crumble upon us, but I wouldn't exactly say it was awkward, it was just... calming.
He led me to the place by the fence that I referred to as my spot. The spot from where, if you'd look in the distance, it looked like the ocean swallowed the Moon as the moonlight reflected itself from the ocean right back at you.
It was my spot because it held some memories for me - good ones and bad ones, and I didn't quite know how to feel about this spot calming him down too.
"Why does it calm you?" I asked him.
"It reminds me of something - someone, to be exact." He answered me. "Probably the only thing I've done right in my entire life." He chuckled sadly. "And I was just a kid."
I looked at him as he glanced at the ocean that reflected the color of his eyes.
He sighed. Deeply and hopelessly.
"I know I can't expect you to understand why I'm doing all of this, but believe me there is a reason." He said. "I'm not just a mindless asshole... Okay maybe I am." He chuckled and I chuckled too. "But. I know what I'm doing. I have to get Cameron back because he's the only one who can help me find the person that practically saved my life without even knowing it. I just need to thank him and make sure he's safe, so I can..." He shook his head. "For fuck's sake, why am I even telling you this?"
"Maybe you're finally realizing you actually like me." I gave him a cheeky grin leaning onto the fence with my back.
I tried to play it casual, but inside I was practically screaming like a girl! He was opening up to me and I had no idea why that made me feel all special and shit.
Ben stood in front of me looking at me with a small smile that lightly curled in the corner of his lips. He put his hands to my hips and my skin tingled under his fingertips that slowly rubbed on my skin through the thin shirt I was wearing.
My heart rate sped up again and my breath got caught up in my lungs when he got even closer to me.
His smile grew wider eventually turning into a wicked one as something dark flashed through his eyes.
"Or maybe..." He whispered slowly dragging out the words. "I'm just messing with you."
My heart skipped a beat and my muscles went tense as his words hit me.
Of course.
Of fucking course.
His wicked smile was now a clear smirk and I don't know which was worse when I felt panic rose in me as my cool turned into fear.
It was so much more than feeling intimidated by him like it was in most cases. There was just something so dark I caught in his gaze as he looked back at me still holding onto my hips.
And the fact that he managed to trick me so easily wasn't helping my attempt to remain calm.
I opened my mouth to say something, but before I could his hand gripped the collar of my shirt and the next thing I know his lips are on mine.
My heart stopped, my breathing stopped, my mind stopped, time stopped, I swear to God, the whole world might've just fucking stopped!
His lips were soft and warm on mine and I was just completely frozen in place.
What. The. Fuck. Was. Happening?!
My stomach did flips as thousands of shivers ran through my skin leaving me slightly shaking as my knees suddenly felt weak.
I have never - and I mean, ever - felt like this and I've kissed plenty of girls before.
I didn't even know a simple kiss could possibly even make you feel anything at all.
As sudden as he kissed me he moved away - or more precisely - moved me away from him as I was still fucking frozen not being able to even breathe.
Was there even air around us? It was just heat and heat and heat and only more heat.
Bruce let out a chuckle - one of those that sounded like half groans half laughs - as he pushed me onto the ship's fence so hard that I had to grab the edge of it not to fall over.
"I told you not to trust me." Was all he said before I felt his hand pushed on my chest lightly, but with a lot of force.
I didn't even know what was going on until I hadn't flipped over the fence and found myself in the air.
The first thought I had when my body cut the surface digging deep into the cold ocean was that I was about to die.
Fear streamed through me transforming every bit of energy I had in myself into adrenaline as I grabbed through the thick water forcing my muscles to move so fast that it was at the point of hurting.
I didn't care, I was in the ocean for fuck's sake. Real, cold, never-ending ocean and the ship was slipping away.
When my head was out I hungrily gasped for air realizing I wasn't even that far from the ship. I could've easily hit my head against it while I was falling and die.
Bruce really wasn't fucking joking when he said he could kill me if he wanted it and he just proved his point doing it in the worst possible way. And I'm not talking about him pushing me into the ocean, I'm talking about the fact that he kissed me and I liked it.
I suddenly got the worst urge to try and kill him right back.
I got a hold of the metal staircase that was here in case exactly this happened and I climbed out of the water and eventually over the fence back to the spot where he kissed me.
He was no where to be seen though. Of fucking course he'd disappear, he was smart unlike me!
I roared every curse word I had in my vocabulary stomping through the hallways while water dripped off me as I headed to my room.
Once I got there I started ripping the wet clothes off of me as I screamed.
I didn't care who heard nor might be concerned about it. I needed to get it out of my system.
So I screamed and screamed until the door of my room hadn't flew open.
"Denis for fuck's sake is someone killing you in here?!" Austin cut through my screams making me shut up.
"What happened? Are you okay?" He asked me and as soon as he did, I felt my eyes furiously burn as the first wave of hot tears ran down my cheeks.
I couldn't help it. I turned around practically hugging myself as there were just more and more tears.
I'm pretty sure Austin came towards me asking me what was wrong again. I think he hugged me too, but I wasn't able to pay attention to him right now.
I liked him. I liked Bruce - Ben. I fucking liked him.
And he was just messing with me.