Back To Basics {Malum AU}

[15.] He will be loved

100000000000000% irrelevant but I LOVE SKAM AND AM OBSESSED AND EXCITED FOR S4

It was something that had keeping them up at night, that had been nagging their tired brains since this all began. The accident still haunted all of them, Calum, Luke, Ashton and Michael. Michael felt that this was the only perk to his state of mind, he did remember the accident, but there were no strings attached to it, non of the direct aftermath or the pain of waiting for someone to open their eyes.

But that didn't mean Michael wasn't scared, perhaps he was the most scared of them all, but pain effects people differently. Michael was scared of what the accident took, and the future he could of had. He was scared people blamed him for not having his seatbelt on, he knew that was ridiculous, but the idea had sewn itself onto his sub-conscience. But one of the things that pained them all the most, was the life that had been lost that day.

Until this point in their lives, the boys thought of road accidents to be common, but it would never happen to them, only idiots drunk drive. They would hardly ever pay attention to flowers of mourning tied to lamp posts, trees and benches next to a busy road. And if they did it was all morbid curiosity. But now they pulled them back into what happened, crushing them knowing the same pain had happened to somebody else and their family.

None of them spoke of it much, Michael didn't.. even see it, already being thrown out of the car, but the man who was driving them stuck by their thoughts everyday.

They had leaned that his name was Neil Holland, he had two kids and was happily married. Putting a name to the face hurt even more. Although none wanted to admit it, they wanted Neil Holland to have been a bad person, a criminal, a cheat. But he wasn't, he was an innocent man with a family that loved him.

And with that Calum could grieve with them. He hadn't lost Michael physically, he was still there, now not even far away in the hospital, but sleeping in a bed the opposite side of the wall to Calum. But he grieved for the version of Michael that was banished to only his memory.

The family had contacted a few weeks after the accident, sending can't condolences of their own, the boys of course sending them back.

Tom Hollands wife had managed to contact them, wanting to meet, give them all a final bit of closure. And today was the day that they would meet. And Michael couldn't have been more scared.

He felt bad he couldn't remember the man who died, the others had all seen him, seen the tragic face of death, and Michael hadn't. He was scared that he would only make things worse, he was an example of the pain caused, just by existing, he feared he would only make the family mourn more, knowing the man they love died in the same accident that had essentially wrecked the life of Michael, and the lives of those who loved him.

He still felt as if he caused this.

He sighed and rubbed his tired green eyes, staring blankly at his wardrobe. He wanted to dress respectfully, make more of an effort besides his normal black jeans and a t-shirt of some description. It was kind of a somber occasion, all black? But he thought wearing all black would look like funeral attire, and make him seem insensitive.

Blinking back tears of frustration he pulled out a plain white t-shirt, completely inoffensive. Or did it look like he put nothing into it, would it blend in with his freshly dyed hair. The green and black was becoming devastatingly faded, so he went back to the colour he had when he first saw himself, white. It gave him a small illusion that nothing had changed since the accident.

Michael held the t-shirt in his hand and looked at it blankly, he was back to step one.

Suddenly there was a soft knock on his door, Michael made a noise telling them to come in.