Back To Basics {Malum AU}

[14.] Home But Not Yet

I'm proud of how fast I updated and hold no this is. Also unrelated but cute.

Unfamiliar scenery and locations flew past Michael as he drove through the city of Sydney, further than he had ever remembered going. Passing buildings he could never remember seeing, despite the running commentary from his mother in the front seat.

It was the day he was going 'home', which was a new concept to Michael. Although his past life did exists somewhere, whether it be in the minds and memories of others, physical remnants such as videos and photographs or even if it was hiding in the deep dark underground of Michael's brain, it was there. But after spending eight months in hospital, he couldn't imagine going to a place where he as independent and free to come and go as he please, well almost, he would need some help. It seemed strange that he was almost being made to accept this and try to live his life normally. But he couldn't do that so many puzzle pieces hadn't slotted into place, memories came and went, but so far they were mostly irrelevant, just small ones from his younger years, but menial ones, no flashbacks of his first day of school, or seeing his first concert, which was apparently Greenday. Nothing important came to his mind, just flashbacks of looking out a car window, or a conversation of no particular significance. A car ride with Calum listening to Ed Sheeran, a debate with someone he had forgotten the name of. The only huge thing he had remembered was the accident and that was something he wanted to forget.

He couldn't live normally until he had pieced his life back in the right order. He knew that he may never have full memory, and that the chance one thing would trigger him into remembering everything was very slim, it could happen, but that was unlikely. But Michael was determined to gather as much as he could so he could live a life as close to the one he had before, if not a better one. Until then he had to put on a brave face and push through, which his counsellor advised him to do, not to act as if everything is fine of course, not to lie to himself, but by having this essence of bravery, even if it is a partial act, it could help boost his bravery outside his facial expression, and deal with the shitty situation he was in. He wanted to be brave for not only himself, but for Calum. Their states were different, but they both had one thing in common, they missed each other, in seperate ways. Calum missed being with Michael, dating him, being intimate, holding him, talking to him the way he did before, instead of inputting reminders into every sentence. And Michael just missed the idea of Calum. He didn't remember them dating, he had one or two memories of when they were dating, but it meant nothing more to him than memories he had, had of Luke or Ashton. But he missed the fact that they were like this. Michael had been told so many things of what him and Calum had from different people, and he wanted to experience all of them, to experience the love they had. He wanted to date Calum. But he just couldn't. Not right now anyway. He couldn't love Calum until he knew me about himself, his past, their past. He had been told a lot, but not enough to shake the confusion.

It wasn't okay, but it would be.

"Honey," his mother said from the seat next to him in the back, the wheelchair taking up the passenger seat in the front next to his dad, "Look it's your school."

Michael looked out of the window beside her. Seeing a building covered in beige bricks, a lowercase blue sign displaying 'norwest christian college'. It was funny to Michael he must have spent so much time there, but he didn't recognise it, he had a sense of familiarity, but that was probably because him mum told him that was his source of education. He wondered when he would be going back there.

It was a monday, kids filed out of the school, as seemingly the day had ended, it was weird to think some of the faces he was staring out at while they were stopped at the red light, were faces that knew him, talked to him, were friends with him, he recognised a few faces from their visits to the hospital, but there was no sight of the people he was looking out for, Calum, Ashton and Luke.