I feel betrayed. I feel down. No that's understimating my feelings. I am fucking hurt. I was betrayed by the last person I thought that would do it.
And there this one thing that's added. Why does it have to occured all this shits in just one day? Kailangan ba sabay-sabay? Kailangan ba minsanan ang sakit? Kasi talagang masakit. It hurts that I couldn't talk to whoever has the guts to talk to me now.
Halos masira ko ang phone ko ng alisin ko ang simcard. Ano to?
Sira? Bigla akong natawa. Mas sira pa nga yata ako eh.
I only want to be happy. To be just fucking happy and live a simple life not a screwed one. Why do I have to feel this? If this love would take my sanity away I'd rather throw it after all I've got nothing so this love I had for him isn't that big deal because I'm fucking wrecked even if I held into this. Nothing will change.
Ayoko na.
Damn how many times I have ever said that? Million times? But still I end up wanting him. Loving him. and hate him eventually what a shit cycle I have.
"Ate nandito si Lyka."
"I don't want to talk to anyone. What's there you guys can't understand?!" Nagtalukbong ako dahil sa inis at pagkaasar.
"Ate we did everything we can but she insist to come here and talk to you. She even warned us that she'll drag you down if you won't come down." Marshall said in a calm tone.
"Then shove it to her face if she don't understand better yet drag her out of here!" Nanggagaliting sigaw ko.
Bakit siya nandito? Para sabihing wala kasalanan si Isaac so I should talk to him?
"Running away Yv?" May diing banggit ni Lyka. Dahil sa pagkakatalukbong ko ay hindi ko makita kung gaano kadilim ang mukha nya ngayon.
"Can't you see how miserable she is? and you still thinking of dragging her down to keep her shit together when she can just rest it and just don't give a damn atleast just for now!" Halos tumahimik ang lahat dahil sa sigaw ni Mariah.
"She have to learn Mariah! Problems are made to solve not to escape!"
"Ha! If I know you're just doing this because Isaac is hurt right? But damn it Lyka! Yvonne is not just in pain right now! She's torn! You leave or I'll drag you out!" Sigaw pa ni Mariah gusto ko mang suwayin ay wala akong lakas dahil sa pagod na ako. Mag away man sila ay wala na ako doon. Natameme siguro si Lyka kaya hindi ito nakasagot. Nakarinig ako ng mga yapak palabas.
Mabuti naman at umalis na sila.
Bumuhos ulit ang mga luhang kanina pang nagbabadya. Ganito nalang ba parati mangyayari sakin? Parati nalang ba akong masasaktan sa tuwing hinahayaan ko ang sarili kong mapalapit sa isang taong noon pa man ay hiniling kong maging akin na? Puro nalang ba ganito ang mangyayari? Gustong gusto ko siyang ipaglaban pero tang ina naman lumalaban ako santalang siya may papakasalan na palang iba?
May nalalaman pa siyang 'I search you everywhere' Para ano? Para ipamukha sa akin na ikakasal siya sa iba at hindi sa akin?
Mahal daw niya ako!
Tumawa ako ng mapakla animo'y baliw dahil sa papalit palit na mood.
Tang ina ganoon ba ang pagmamahal niya sakin? Pwes hindi ko kailangan ng mapanakit niyang pagmamahal!
Marahas kong pinunasan ang luha na tuloy-tuloy lang sa pagtulo.
Ilang beses pa kaya akong iiyak?
Nanginginig ang kamay kong tinawagan si Lyka.
"Lyka" Bati ko nang sinagot nito ang tawag ko.
"Yv. Pasensiya sa mga inakto ko." Halos hindi ko marinig ang boses nito sa sobrang hina.
BINABASA MO ANG
To Tame the Heart
General FictionMary Yvonne Santos still clinged on her past love. The only man who made her stomach filled with butterflies. But unfortunately their lovestory wasn't a happy ending. But what if that man come back to her life again and make her feel the same old fe...
