Not So Bad After All (BWWM)(EDITING)

Chapter Twenty Four, Special Chapter

I heard a knock at my door, interrupting my deep thoughts.

It couldn't be Rose because she just walks right into my apartment and the only other person who actually knocks is Brandon. Even my gay landlord, who I love to death by the way, just walks right in. These are people that I know and love like family so I don't mind.

"Hey, I'm gonna call you back, someone's at the door," I told Brandon.

He laughed, "You mean someone actually knocked?"

"Shocker right?" I chuckled.

"Want me to stay on the line in case it's someone coming to kill you?"

I laughed as I got up from my bed, "I think I'll be okay."

"You sure?"

I smiled. I love when he gets all protective. "I'm sure. Call me later?"

"Absolutely."

"Okay, bye."

"Bye."

I threw my phone on my bed and ran to the door.

Another knock, much louder than the first.

"I'm coming!" I yelled. "There better be a damn good reason for you to be knocking on my door like the police-"

I opened the door and my heart fell into stomach.

Jason... What the hell is he doing here?

"Hey, Sky," He greeted me sheepishly.

I wanted nothing more than to close the door in his face and lock all five locks. But my body wouldn't let me do that. Not to him.

"Can I come in?"

Without a word, I moved aside and let him in. I cursed myself for being weak and not slamming the door in his face.

"I like your place. Looks a lot bigger than your other one," He said looking around. "Can we sit and talk?"

I motioned for him to sit on my couch and once he did, I slowly sat down beside him, but still kept my distance.

"So how have you been?" He clasped his hands together and stared at me.

"I've been great," I emphasized the word great.

That wasn't a complete lie. My Mother has finally left me alone and stopped asking me for money. My father is in rehab again and he's doing so good this time. My little sister is finally talking to me again and is doing okay with the new family who adopted her. I'm in a way nicer apartment thanks to my friend Jeremiah, who is now my landlord. I have furniture, my grades are good and my relationship with Brandon is blossoming into something beautiful! So yeah, I'd say that I'm doing pretty well...

"Great. That's really great..." He nodded.

Let's avoid the awkward silence and cut to the chase.

"What are you doing here Jason?" I asked impatiently.

"I'm here to see you... To talk to you," He said like it was obvious.

"Why? How did you know where I live? Did Rose tell you?"

"No... I found your address on her phone."

I rolled my eyes. I believe it...

"I just wanted to talk to you, see how your doing. You look beautiful, as always."

I rolled my eyes, "Don't start."

He sucked his teeth, "Start what? I can't tell you your beautiful? Because you really are..."

"Okay," I got up from the couch.

I was heading to the door to open it and invite his tall figure to walk through it, but he caught my arm before I could do that.

"Alright, alright. I'll be serious," He stood up, his tall frame towering over me. "Really, I wanted to apologize to you. I know I did you dirty and that hasn't been sitting right with me."

"It's a little too late for that Jason. You can keep your apology," I shook my head.

"It's never too late to apologize Sky. Whether you accept it or not is up to you but I wanna make things right with you. Maybe we can try again."

"No, I don't think so."

You don't know how much strength it took for me to say that. I spent so many nights crying over him. He hurt me so bad. I can't forgive what he did.

"You never know what could happen. Just give me another chance."

"No," I shook my head. "I don't wanna be that girl that's stuck on a guy that clearly doesn't want her," I told him. "I've moved on."

"What are you talking about? I just said I want you."

"You want me for now, Jason... and that's it. That's all it ever is for you. I'm not some toy that you can just pick up and play with when you're bored. It doesn't work that way!"

I felt my eyes begin to burn so I turned away from him, not wanting him to see me cry.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to treat you that way," He pulled me into him, closing the distance between us.

"But you did, Jason. After that night, you went back to college and didn't even bother to text me. I literally gave you everything I had! My love, my heart, my body, and you just threw it away... like it was nothing..."

"I was afraid of what would happen next. Sky it was never in my intentions to hurt you like this," he hugged me. "I panicked and I ran. I fucked up. I'm human and I'm sorry."

His hand caressed my face gently just like he used to do and I instantly fell under his spell once again. He smelled like cocoa butter. A smell that I almost became obsessed with.

"You feel that?" He placed my hand on his chest. "I'm soiled, I'm real and I'm standing right here ready to love you."

I squeezed my eyes shut, allowing the tears to freely fall down my face. In one smooth move, his lips were on mine and I forgot about the world and everything in it.

But fortunately for me, Brandon's face popped into my head, and strength came back to me. I pushed Jason off of me and shook my head at him disapprovingly.

"Give me one more chance, Sky. I won't mess up."

To think, I've waited all this time trying to get him to want me the way I've always wanted him and I have to turn him down.

I literally feel sick.

"I can't..." I wiped my tears away. "Cause your gonna go right back to college, back to your life, back to sleeping around... And I'm gonna be here... wondering if your thinking of me while I'm thinking of you. Wondering if you miss me or not. Wondering if your gonna call... And you don't, Jason... You never call... You have no idea what you want, so just leave me the hell alone."