FIRST AND ONLY

CHAPTER 27

Sitting at this place felt strange, although changes at this place were not done, it still has the same aroma, same wallpapers, same workers, this place doesn’t seem to be the “same” anymore.

We decided to have lunch at “There’s a lot Diner”, it’s been awhile, everything looks almost the same but on the right corner, I don’t see a bandboy guy holding a newspaper and girls outside playing paparazzi over a guy that I bet doesn’t even know about their existence. “There’s A lot Diner”—I suddenly started wondering why was it named this way? Maybe because There’s really a lot of things stories behind this diner. I look at the place and wonder about why the other people choose to eat here, do they also have a story behind this? Could there be someone who feels as broken as me whenever I eat here? I doubt.

I look at Anthony and Pau and they look normal, I wonder if they are also carrying this heavy grudge in their hearts but decide to just fake everything.

“Why are you so silent Atienza?” Anthony said.

“Just because, Anton!” I knew what he meant by calling me Atienza, this teasing isn’t going nowhere.

Anthony laughs, I hate it when he doesn’t quit.

“Quit it, she’s going out with Jason Garcia slash Varsity player.”

Anthony touched my left hand, “Just tell us if you want us again to have an EMU.”, His right hand touches his chest “that’s so heartbreaking.”

“Moron” I threw tissue on his face.

“Single people arguing about their lovelife, cute.” Pau joined.

Anthony threw the tissue I threw to him to Pau.

“Uhmm..I heard Gaile’s about to release her album anytime this year.” Pau said while playing with his straw on the soda while looking away.

I can sense he’s uncomfortable.

“Yeah, I read on her twitter.” I smiled.

“You still check her out??! Thought you’ve already moved on. You have Veronica now, common!” Anthony said looking really upset.

I explained to Anthony that there’s really nothing going on between Veronica and me but I’m glad she’s my friend now. I understand Anthony’s concern, he knows how much of a trial it is to have a broken heart.

“You can’t just move on from it… it’s hard.” I told him.

“It’s only hard because you don’t want to.” Anthony continues.

Talking to my friends about Gaile again, it kind of made me realize that I never really moved on. A part of me was still stuck in the past. I never really forgot about her. I just buried our memories somewhere deep that made it hard for me to remember how happy we used to be together. Yet I don’t know why it still hurts.

“Fine,suit yourself.” Anthony is still annoyed.

Since I googled Gaile’s Twitter, it became a habit to check updates about her every night. It’s pathetic but I don’t know why I’m doing it anyways, If I text Anthony tonight, I would probably get a flying punch sent through a text. There are no updates, I decided to re-read her old tweets. The hardest part of this whole situation is that neither of us knows what’s going on. Neither of us knows what each other’s thinking and we’re both trying to make decisions based on information we don’t know. I tried to refresh the page and boom, there’s a new tweet:

“I’ve decided to call my album “MCLOVIN”.”

I stared at the screen for minutes, analyzing things, reminding myself that it might not be what I think but my heart tells me otherwise.

I decided to email Gaile again,

Dear Gaile,

I’m so happy about all these blessings that’s been happening to you, you of all people deserve it. I just wanna tell you how much I miss you, I miss you every second of everyday. It physically hurts to not be with you. Missing you it’s like a full time job. I don’t want to become someone you used to know.. can we still be friends again?

Love,

Mac

People just don’t get it,they never understand. It’s a first love kinda thing. You’ve done the most awful thing on earth and still I’m not over you. I try to look for you in every girl I meet.I hate you but I love you at the same time.