FIRST AND ONLY

CHAPTER 16 ☺

I ran into home, filled the survey which is in my opinion just rushed answers.Everything was rushed, I handed it them to Veronica who still seemed disappointed at me, and gave me another three pages to fill up.This is not "knowing each other", this is "Annoying each other", I would see other groups having fun with their partners outside the campus, even from far I could see the other telling something and the other paying attention to it. I felt we're not being fair, no actually, I am not being fair to Veronica, she deserves the fairness I thought but I couldn't do anything about it. I just watched her leave while she's walking slowly, I felt the sadness in every step she's taking, I couldn't see her face but I can assume she's having a poker face.

I went home, I had nothing to do, ofcourse on my free time I am supposed to be with Gaile, but after what had happen I wanna prove something to myself, I wanna have a permanent answer to my temporary questions. I checked my phone and there are still no messages. I texted Pau and Anthony to hang out with them but they seemed to be doing somethingelse. 

Although I was Busy acting like I'm busy I will pause for a sec and I will think of her, it drives me crazy. I wonder if it kills her also as much as it kills me? But then I shook my head.

It was past 10, I couldn't take it anymore, I wore my hoodie and my cap, left home and went to the bistro that Gaile sings to regularly. You know the look when Chris Brown suddenly wants to disappear, go outside and to wear something that Paparazzi won't recognize? I felt like I'm dressed like that. 

I sat on the un-VIP section, almost near the kitchen of the Bistro. There she is, at the stage, happy and normal, compared to me, totally disaster. "10 minutes Gaile, just 10 minutes of gazing you and then I'm off." I said, I was looking at her from afar, I tried to stretch down my feet and this girl stepped on my foot accidentally and spilled her drinks on my knees. She was apologizing non stop and decided to gove me her hanky, I told her it's fine,it'll eventually dry, she left, my eyes are still following where she was going and to my surprise... she sat on the table near the stage next to the guy I would like to call Lance The great Agoncillo. The world is becoming really small, every girl I bumped to must be connected to Mr. Dry hair in stripped Pants.

No normal guy can flirt around with a dozen of girls in front of their ex-girlfriend. I stared at Gaile and she's totally fine, how could she be fine with this? Days ago she was with this Lance, hugging him and being happy at some Resto I didn't even know existed. I can't help but think were they like this for three years? Lance being unfaithful and Gaile being totally fine with it? It doesn't make sense, I thought.

I left the bistro disappointed.

CHAPTER 16

It is officially three days, 5 hours, 12 minutes and 15 secs, and still I haven't recieved a text from her, as desperate as it sounds, a blank message from her can cheer me up. Is this all there is? After those times of being together a single "How are you?" is difficult to send? Being ignored by a person you love is hard, but that's not the worst thing, making them look like it's easy for them is. I don't know where I stand with you. And I don't know what I mean to you. All I know is every time I think of you, I want to be with you.

"Hey, it's been awhile. I hope you're okay." I sent the message.

"Somebody's always loving somebody they shouldn't be loving." Anthony said, he must be staring at me for quite a long time already. 

I pretended I didn't hear him and busy with a game from my phone. You can ignore the truth but you can't ignore them forever. I'm hurt, tired and hungry.

I stood up and said, "Let's go have a bite."

Pau was with Jessica, me and Anthony decided to eat some street food, the best thing about them is they're flavorful and cheap, it's been awhile since we last ate streetfood, after eating some steetfood, me and Anthony would have a stick fight pretending we're in a star wars battle, it's always fun to be childish. The best thing about our frienship is it's solid, one can tell when one's not okay, even without a word.

We were walking on our way to school, we felt tired with that stick fight but it felt good. On our way to our class my phone vibrated, it was a text from gaile asking me if I'm available we could eat dinner together. As far as I could remember I texted her 9 am in the morning,she replied after 6 hours.Are we not at the same country for her to reply that long?She texts as simple as that,  it's as if she really wanna spend dinner with me, if I didn't discover about her meeting up with Lance the other night this message could have been good news. Sometimes, we just have to be happy with what people can offer us,even if it's not what we want, atleast it's something.

Again, it was Miss Lojo's class, I'm becoming really sick of this project, we were asked to have our activity inside the classroom instead, I sat beside Veronica, my partner who seemed to be so annoyed by my presence. She again handed me two pages of again surveys,we would exchange answers everytime, I never read what she wrote, to be honest I don't know where this project is going, actually I don't know if this project is going somewhere.

"Can I ask you a question?" Veronica said.

"Yeah,sure."

"Do you promise to answer me with all honesty?"

"We'll see?" I said confusely, what does she want this time.

"In the survey, what was my first bestfriend?A boy or a girl?" she asked.

"Oh..I can't really remember, but I think it's a girl." I lied,Thank god my nose doesn't sweat this time. I'm trying to relly play cool about it.

I didn't hear a response from her, I felt she was staring at me. I must've had given her the wrong answer, still acting cool about this whole thing though. When the bell rang, she stood up and fixed her things.

"Aren't you..going to give me another survey this time?I asked.

"What for?You never read them anyways...I don't get you Atienza, you have no idea about the adjustments I did for this whole being your partner and you being...heartless about it." She said angrily but not loudly, she was trying to control her voice tone.

"What?I read them, what made you think I never did?" I said.

She paused and said..."There wasn't a question about who's my bestfriend in the survey, I suspected you not reading I just didn't believe my instincts..I thought you were actually better than this...I guess I thought wrong." That's the time when she walked out.

I sighed, this feels bad you know, hurting a girl and feeling like a complete ass about it. I wanted to say "sorry", but at that time sorry was the hardest thing to say. Why was pride even created?

I texted Gaile that my class is over and that I'm meeting her at the mall in few mins.

I decided to buy her roses again. Is it pathetic to think that I got hurt, lied to, felt like a trash but still I would give her roses? Whatever, I picked 12 lavender roses which means,"Be my steady".

Yes, I wanna go steady cause I'm serious about her, I date her exclusively, even if she doesn't realize, even if it doesn't mean anything to her. Even if she doesn't reply to my "I miss you" or "I love you", Id like to think that I was lucky enough to get signals, Id like to believe that she's the one. I wanna believe that she's this perfect girl and everything she seems to be is true. But when I look at her today,after three days of not seeing her, I can tell that I’m just barely scratching the surface. She's that book, with the pretty cover, the one that I just can’t wait to to get into. But you should never judge a book by it’s cover, because now that I’ve read far enough into her that I just can’t put her down, there will be a twist… and everything will change… and by the last page… I’ll be heartbroken,I felt the butterflies in my stomach losing their wings.