FIRST AND ONLY

CHAPTER 26

Remember how I told you I love long walks or simply walking? I’m having one of those slow long walks with myself tonight. It’s almost past 7. 5 hours ago I found myself stuck on an elevator with Veronica, I didn’t even know how I survived. I remember falling asleep and waking up with the sound of the Elevator Maintenance trying to save us from being stuck. Here I am having moon walks tonight, trying to remember what happened before we fell asleep, or who fell asleep first. I remember that “Rock and scissor Game”, it was funny and lame, that game totally helped us discover a lot about each other, somehow. If I remember it right, the last question was “What was my greatest fear?” Due to extreme tiredness and dizziness I answered “Not finding the right girl”, the rest of it, I no longer remember since everything went off. Craaaap, I hope she fell asleep already while I gave her my answer. When I reached home I found Noy on our terrace, smoking and looking like he’s waiting for something. Wow really? Noy is at home? Quite surprising. He went inside the house once he saw me, I still wonder what happened to the bruises, who did he fight with this time? Knowing Noy, he might look all hardcore and everything but he is not a warfreak, he dooesn’t pick up a fight for nothing. I saw Mom and Dad in the living room, I’m guessing they’re budgeting, I waved at them and went to my room.

I opened my Laptop and a bag of chips, I wasn’t able to attend my last subjects but I wasn’t excused to do the Homeworks. Ahhhh!

It was done after 2 hours, I decided to play poker but lost already in the first round, I closed the tab.

I didn’t know what got me, but I found myself typing “Gaile Quizon” on google, and to my surprise there were more than thirty results of pages…the pages at that time talked to me and said “Explore me.”

I know I shouldn’t be doing this, I’m betraying the rules I made on “How to stop feeling miserable.”

But it’s been two months, I would like to know how she’s doing, I would like to believe I’m only curious of how she’s doing.

There were videos results on Youtube as well, I clicked one randomly,  and for the first time again after two months, her face was right in front of me again, Im hearing that angelic voice again.

She did numbers of covers on youtube and some Vlogs. Every video is a hit, there are hundreds of comments, at that time I knew our world is slowly growing apart and that star…is starting to be unreachable day by day.

I checked her Twitter and read a lot of updates, she’s been busy, Tv guestings, Mall shows on Cebu, all of that in just two months. I wasn’t really surprise but still it wowed me.

Her last tweet went like:

“Gaile-Addicts working on the songs of my Debut Album coming out pretty soon!All because of your love! Daghang Salamat po.”

If I were to pretend and cover the name of this person, it is without a doubt a tweet of a celebrity. I went back watching her videos, my left hand on my chin, the other hand touching the Laptop screen, I paused the video everytime she smiles.

It was hurtful to look at her now, because I know I’m not the only one staring at her eyes, watching her sing and pretending it’s for me, cause with thousand of video views, there’s a lot of you getting stunned and daydreaming at the exact moment.

For me there are two types of getting hurt: One is getting hurt with the right and the other one is the opposite of it. I placed myself on the second one, cause I didn’t like to keep my hopes up again.

“When you forget me. When you don’t remember my name. Not even a memory, somewhere in the back of your brain. I won’t be offended ‘cause I always knew that the day would come when I’m not enough to make you stay. You tell me it’s not possible, no way that we could break. But nothing is illogical, believe me.”

I listened to one of her covers and this line hit me. Every moment with her flashed back, from meeting her for the first time in church until the last day she said goodbye to you.I realized how much I miss her and how I still love her. This is one of those nights wherein you just question everything,When you just lie in bed,contemplating, reminiscing, reflecting on everything that’s happened. You start remembering. And when you remember, you start to miss. You miss someone who used to mean so much to you. But then you also remember the things they’ve done. The hurtful things they said. You hate them for hurting you. But you hate yourself even more for giving them the chance to have an effect over you. Now it’s like this battle inside your head. If you should blame yourself for what they did, or blame them for how you felt. It’s confusing.First love could end... But it is never forgotten, a mix of emotions rushing through you night after night. I placed my hand on my chest and took a deep breath. “This too shall pass.”

The next day at school, I felt deaf hearing the Elevator scene yesterday, it was the talk of the room. If I wasn’t stuck with a girl maybe this wouldn’t be such a topic of a day. Professors kept teasing, I’m not happy about it. They probably think something romantic happened.

“You and Gonzales huh, cute couple.” Anthony said.

I decided to go at the Library with them, being on the same room with Veronica is really awkward.

“Could you just.. continue answering our Activity?” I told him.

Pau and Anthony smirked.

“Hey Anton, I’ve already compiled our Research. I’ll just text you the details later on.” Nicole came to our table, saying this while revolving her waist like a little girl and blushing. Didn’t realize Anton is partnered with Nicole in this “Introduce me or know yourself thingy”.

“Sure thing Colai!” Anthony winked.

Nicole bowed and went out of the library.

Pau and me laughed, finally someone’s with me.

“Awww,Anton and Colai, cute nicknames.” I began to tease.

Anton made faces.

“She likes you…it’s obvious.” I told Anton..I mean Anthony.

He leaned close to me and said “ How can you tell when somebody likes someone and cannot tell when someone actually likes you?”

Ofcourse I know what this meant, How come Anthony always wins?

“Pshhh… I told you to focus on the Activity.” I tried to end up the conversation, I don’t know why I instantly shut up when I’m being teased to Veronica, maybe because I don’t find it funny that people are putting malice to this new friendship thingy.