FIRST AND ONLY

CHAPTER 14

I slammed the door, I slammed the door pretty hard and I’m not even angry, anger is such a strong word, Can I say “semi-angry”? Why haven’t I thought about it? That tat was already there the first time I saw gaile at the church when she flipped her hair, when I first saw her highlights. Maybe cause right after that incident I never noticed that tat again, covering them with liquid foundations. They had the same tattoo, Wow. It must be a serious kind of relationship, to think it was an infinity tat. If they had the infinity tattoo then how come their relationship ended? Those infinity ring, writing your name on trees, having the same tattoo and whatever else might not be true too.

I noticed lights were off except the lights at the kitchen, I came to turn them off and to my surprise I saw Noy. He was eating noodles, who eats noodles at this time? It’s 1:30 am,noodles is not even midnight snack. I was about to go upstairs when all of a sudden Noy started talking..

“Always going home late huh?”

I was surprised for awhile.

“Not always, just tonight…and the other days.” I said.

“That chick won’t do you good.” He said.

Oh no, I don’t like where’s this going.

“Don’t..act like you know her.” I said in a calm way.

“Oh I do know her, she’s not that of a good influence. I’ve seen her with Lance, they were two conceited couples so obsessed with fame, I wonder why didn’t they end up, they’re so meant to be. Girl immature and boy who never settle.”

I’m not even seeing my brother as we speak. He was a total different person, the brother that I know doesn’t say hurtful words. Should I have a right to feel bad about it? For the first time after so many years he came to talk to me just to make me feel insulted. Should I have the right?

“You have so much to say for someone that had been dumped a lot.” I didn’t control my words anymore.

He stood up,kicked the chair and grabbed my tee.We were staring at each other, eye to eye, his hands were shaking while grabbing my tee. My eyes were sad, this is the first time that he stared at me again and I’m not seeing my brother Noy anymore.

“Who gave you the right to talk to me that way?” Noy said as he pushed me and left.

I banged my room door again, the semi anger is now beyond it.

Why does everything and all the dramas need to happen today?

“This too shall pass.” I closed my eyes, I felt tiredness, it is the kind of tired that sleep can’t fix. But still I closed my eyes and slept.

I’ve been blank for the whole three classes already, I would still think about the heaviness of what happened yesterday. It’s like you’re caring everything into your heart. I analyzed everything and realized that there’s a Brightside over what happened, maybe Gaile confessed last night because she’s ready…to move on,take chances and maybe hopefully love again.

I checked my phone and there was a text from her that says “ I hope you’re feeling okay can I Zie you today?”

Isn’t it unfair how a single text from her can just make me forget all the heaviness I felt awhile ago?

Ofcourse I replied with a “Yes.”

It was lunch time and Anthony and Pau decided to eat at “There’s a lot”, although I hated the place so much I just didn’t bother arguing with them not to go to, and besides I want to take a look at Lance again.

We entered the diner, and yes, there he was again sitting on his throne,with his stupid newspaper, ugly drumstick and annoying hair that makes him looked like someone who doesn’t bathe regularly. You figure out you hate someone everything they do automatically annoys you. Even just by him breathing kills you. To my surprise, there’s a girl that hugged im from behind, it’s not the same girl last time, I wonder how many girls knew this place already.

“What an ass.” I said.

“Are you okay?” Anthony asked.

“Yeaaah,I just thought that emo guy’s a jerk for having so many girls in at this dinner.” I said.

“WHO IS THE EMO GUY THAT LOOKS LIKE A JERK AGAIN?!” Pau shouted.

I saw the girl and lance staring at our table, they’ve heard it. That first eye to eye contact with the guy that broke the girl that you love’s heart is so so awkward. He does so much just by staring, his stare could punch my face already. I just had an eye to eye contact with the Great Lance Agoncillo, it feels epic but then he looked away.

It was our last subject and nothing seems to go right, I wanted to see Gaile already, the only right thing on my mind, my phone vibrated from my pocket, I checked it was from Gaile:

“Have something important to do all of a sudden. Sorry,can’t make it?Maybe tomorrow night again?”

I sighed. “Yeah no biggie.” J I replied.

My phone vibrated again,It was Mom,asking me to buy her some vaporub at the drug’s store.

And so I did, I went to buy some vaporub at the drugstore, when this lady infront of me dropped her hanky..

“Miss, you dropped your hanky.” I tapped her shoulder.

“Thanks Hijo.” She smiled.

I know who she is…we met in the Fair..It can’t be?!

I was stunned for awhile, it was the old lady fortune teller from the fair. I wanted to speak but couldn’t find the right words to say.

“Maybe you should relax a little and pay attention more on who has always been there for you.” She pressed my chin and left, I swear I didn’t understand a thing. Maybe she would always have this effect on me, scary effect in my opinion. I followed where she was going, she went to this small resto on the other street, I followed her for there’s a lot of questions I wanna ask, I was about to push the resto’s door when I saw Gaile, she seemed to be busy writing something as she was sited at the last table, I was about to call her and say Hi when I saw her stood up and hugged this guy…the guy I would like to call Lance Agoncillo.

“Have something important to do all of a sudden. Sorry,can’t make it?Maybe tomorrow night again?”

Her text refreshed my mind. So this is what something important looks like.

I went home, hugged my Mom, gave her the vaporub, didn’t give her the chance to speak and went to my room. I opened my computer, logged into  Facebook, checked her profile and her status that still says that she’s in a relationship, stalking her page for an hour lead me to a blogsite, a blogsite which had some posts since three years ago. It was full of Lance,her last post goes:

“Falling in love means loosing your heart, getting lost in it means loosing your mind, and loosing IT….means loosing any chance of being whole again.”

There were more posts,I don’t know why I continue reading something that breaks my heart.For the first time in my lifeI felt extremely insecure, what if she will not be happy with me or what if she’s not happy with me at all? I mean she doesn’t post on her statuses or tweet about being happy or being inspired by someone or anything that can maybe include me. Just when you think the person values you, the world tells you something else. You  know that feeling when you just want to turn off your phone, log off every social networking site. Get  far as possible from here and just run away from the world and your reality?