I Don't Love You, I Hate You |BL|

26 ~ Dissolution

There was nothing exciting on his table. An awkward shaped paper weight was weighing down some documents in one corner and there were pens and pencils neatly placed everywhere.

I didn't know he was a neat freak. It was so clinical. There probably was someone who came in here at night and cleaned all of this up, I thought.

Rolling my eyes at my own thoughts I reached for the drawers. The first one opened and alphabetically organized documents filled the inside of it, shutting it I opened the other and another. Pulling out some of the files I flipped through them. There wasn't anything interesting in them; they were just graphs and figures that I couldn't make head or tails with.

All seemed to be just filled with random documents. When I tried to open the last one it would not open. It was locked. I got out from the chair and knelt on the floor and pulled on the handle as hard as I could. Nothing. It only made me want to know what was inside. It had to be something good, otherwise he wouldn't have it locked.

I pulled on the handle harder, and a loud crack and a bang echoed through the room. The lock had broken. I was impressed, but it was only short lived. Shit! I thought for a moment before going on ahead and opening it.

My high expectations came crashing down when I saw another pile of documents inside. When closing the drawer something glistened, and it caught my eye. I picked up the papers and transferred them to the floor.

My body stiffened. It was that picture. The one from high school. It was the same one that I had found in his bed side cupboard, the same one that vanished. The cold glass that framed the image reflected the bright light that came through the windows. When taking it into my hands I saw another picture underneath it. But this one was different. I remembered when it was taken. It wasn't just me that was in the picture either, it was both of us. It was from that day that Ash kissed me, at the top of the stairs. The picture was from the first party the two of us went to. I didn't even know they printed this picture.

Why did Haden have these?

I took both pictures into my hands and stared into them. Lost in my own thoughts I didn't know what I should do next. Slowly coming to my feet I noticed that I was breathing heavily and my hands were shaking.

The sudden noise from of the office doors opening made me jump, it caught me off guard. My head snapped up to look in the direction of the doors. At the entrance Haden stood. His eyes were wide. His gaze travelled from my face to what I held in my hands.

"Derek" He muttered.

I stood at the back of his desk with my mouth ajar. "I-I" I wondered what I should say, but nothing came to mind. I watched his feet as he took each step towards me. I swallowed hard and involuntarily stepped back, intimidated by his gaze.

He stood in front of me, almost pinning me to the glass behind me. As he took another step towards me I felt myself losing my balance. The sensation of falling back made me drop what I had in my hands and reach out to the closest thing before me. Reaching out I grabbed Haden by the collar of his shirt.

The photos crashed on the ground, the glass scattered on the floor and the shards shone like diamonds. When I raised my head once after I regained my balance all I saw was my hand grasping his shirt. Quickly letting go I pushed him away from me.

"How long did you know?" I whispered.

He stared at me and his gaze fell, his eyes became glassy. Breaking eye contact with me he took a step back and looked around hesitantly. "Since... the day at the restaurant" he replied.

I looked at him in surprise, I didn't expect him to actually answer my accidental question.

"why didn't you tell me?"