SandBoys | LS

18| Dig yourself out 🥀

Harry's POV

3 years later A/N they dated for 3 years, this is three years after their breakup)

I couldn't help but forgive him so fast every time he fucked up, I knew he was struggling to accept himself and that's why I was trying to be supportive. It's hard ya know, sometimes while you're trying to pull someone out of their own trap you find yourself slowly sinking with them. Louis and I were like fire and ice. Clashing in a horrible mix but also perfect for each other.

There was lots of moments in our relationship where I would just sit and think is this even worth it? I mean I stuck by him so many times and each time I felt like it was going no where and he was making me worse. We had so many fights, so many tears in the end. Regardless he was my Lou and I was his Harry.

We fought. We fought and fought. But as I lay in my bed tonight I wonder if all of it was worth the fight. 6 years ago when our relationship started I would have never imagined laying in my bed 3 years later as a single man. I just graduated from college now, Niall and Zayn are still my bestest friends. I haven't heard from Louis since our breakup. That went horrible by the way. I fell into a hole of depression, I started talking to a therapist and I got better. But sometimes I still feel like running back to him no matter how bad he hurt me.

*flashback to the break up*

Harry's POV

We had another fight but I was going to fix it this time, instead of waiting for him to run back to my apartment in the middle of the night to apologize like he usually did. I showed up at his doorstep with a single rose and myself. I knocked but no one answered. Several minutes later I decided to just let myself go in. I heard yelling upstairs.. it sounded like Louis and Zayn.

"THEN JUST BREAK UP WITH HIM LOUIS!" Zayn shouted.

"NO! I won't Zayn, I love him." My brows furrowed in confusion as I stayed still and held my breath to listen.

"If you loved him you'd let him go. You're making him dig the same hole you caught yourself in." Zayn said harshly.

"I'm not trying to okay Zayn!? I love him, he is strong he can help me." Louis cried.

"No one could help you. You can't even help yourself. Break up with him before you ruin him. He won't keep you a secret forever."

"I know, I just don't want him to leave me and realize that he's waiting for nothing. I can't tell people I'm gay they'll hate me Zayn."

"Do you love Harry enough that you will come out for him?" Zayn asked.

"Zay-"

"DO YOU? ITS A YES OR NO QUESTION LOUIS." Zayn yelled.

"But people will hate me."

"The question is would you rather lose Harry or deal with the knowledge that people won't always like you?" I held my breath on this one.

"I'll break up with him then." Louis answered quietly. My eyes bulged out of my head at that. I should've listened to my heart when it said this wasn't worth it.

I stormed into the room and Louis' eyes widened. "H-Harry.. what are you doing here." He asked casually.

"Here's to three years Louis." I spat as I threw the rose on the ground.

"I'm sorry Harry no don't leave me please!! I need you!" He cried. My heart wrenched at his ears piercing screams as he chased after me down the stairs. Before he could grab me Zayn caught him and held him back.

"You should've thought about that before then. Have a good life in the closet Louis." I said harshly as I slammed the door behind me.

*flashback over*

I can remember that night very clearly, I drank my life away that night. After I left Louis I chopped off the hair he loved so dearly, I kept t short and never grew it out again after Louis, and I never dated a single soul after him. I have made tons of friends and enjoy my job as a male model and a singer. Yeah I was pretty famous, but I never let that stop me from being who I am. I am me, and I'm so proud.