I Needed to, I Had to

"511" (Part 2) [M]

"Why I feel like you're only saying this to reassure me?" She looked so sad and tired, staring at me, waiting for an answer.

"Krystal story is still on your mind, right?" She lowered her gaze. I took her hands in mines and kissed one.

"I'm to tell you what happened. I'm not going to use any excuse, just tell you exactly how it happened.

-No, I don't need to...

-Yes, you need to hear it, you need to know. I wished I could have been the one to told you and not Kevin in the first place but I can give you the details he couldn't give." She fell silence and I understood that she was waiting for me

"When I told to get out of my life, I was mad, I literally destroyed my whole apartment. I went to a club and drank like there was no tomorrow. I didn't call Krystal but she was there. She came and I was so drunk that I told her about you cheating on me with Taemin.

-But I didn't!

-I know you didn't. She forced me out of the bar because I was pretty much near coma. She took me at home and I think that for once she really wasn't thinking bad. But when she tried to help me get clean to go to bed, I accidentally made us trip." I sighed remembering the scene.

"We were dangerously close and she kissed me. I didn't like it but I kissed her back. The alcohol and the rage just made me think that I had no reason to reject her." I could feel the tension in Tiana's hands.

"I unzipped her dress and...

-Stop...

-I touched her and she touched me. I kissed her more roughly and at the moment I felt like something was familiar and I was so eager to reach it. I became more rough and...

-Stop, JongIn...

- just to reach this familiar feeling I kissed her, licked her, bit her, fuck her...

-Stop!" Her breath was unstable, she was struggling to get her hands away from mine but I was holding them firmly.

"Why are you doing this to me?

-Because I love you and you need to know. This familiar feeling, I never reached it. Instead I felt nauseous the next morning just by thinking about what I had done. This familiar feeling I was yearning for so much that I ended up fucking Krystal, I only feel it when you're with me." She stopped struggling and looked at me.

"I know that you think that I still have some feelings for Krystal. I do, but it's only friendship. I love you and you love me. The passionate and deep love in between us is what I was running after without being able to touch it for months.

-It's too easy to say that. It's always like this. You say some sweet words to me and I forgive you. I don't want to, JongIn, not anymore." Once again I kissed her hand.