Punk Harry Imagine

Part 69

Jase didn't talk to me for the rest of that day. Or the following week. Mel reassured me that it was because he didn't know how to react to my sudden news. I didn't need anyone to tell me that he was mad at me. I already knew that he was.

I was surprised that he was the only one to despise me after my rash decision. It's not like I talked to them about it. I kinda just decided it on my own. I already knew that I wasn't a good friend. I've never really had any friends in the first place to have any experience.

It was for the best.

I'm just gonna pull a Harry and distance myself from everyone and start hating the world.

I looked around my room, playing with the pen in my hand. Everything was set up. I had no boxes to pack or empty areas that were in desperate need of retouching. After living here for months, it was to be expected. 

I have no motivation to be doing biology homework.

I can't stand my negative aura. I need to bother someone.

I dragged myself out of bed and into the dining room where my parents are bound to be.

"Yeah, I know it is kind of unexpected but it's for the best," I heard my mother say.

I peeked my head behind the wall. If other people are here, I'll put up with my negative energy and trot back upstairs.

"It's not that we don't like it here. We love it here. It's just, it's just a difficult situation that we are in right now. What about Y/N? She was the one that suggested it. No, she very much enjoys her school. Yeah, she has a lot of friends." Yeah, okay. "No, she doesn't have to meet with Billy, Joan. She's fine, really." My mom looked up from her phone to see me staring intently at her with a cocked brow. "Actually, Y/N needs me right now. Got to go, Joan. Bye."

"Wow, you just used me as an excuse to avoid human interaction. That's great, mom."

My mother did not seem to enjoy my wittiness and merely glared at me. "You're right. I should have handed you the phone. Then Joan would've been the one to hang up."

"It's not my fault that people do not enjoy hearing about interesting facts about ferrets."

My mom cracked a smile. "Maybe Billy would."

"Who's Billy?"

"Joan's 13 year old son with an exquisite gum collection. Joan thought that we wanted to move because you had a tough time making friends. She suggested that you and Billy would be the best of friends if you guys would hang out."

"That'd be kinda awkward, you know with... everything."

"Yeah."

I stood there in awkward silence as I've been doing a lot lately. I glanced up at my mom to see her sulking. I could almost sense her waiting for an opportune time to lecture me about something and to give me amazing life advice that would burn in the back of my mind for eternity.  "What is the matter, mother?"

"It's nothing..."

"Okay, I'm gonna go ba-"

"It's just, I hope that we're moving for the right reasons," she interrupted.

"What do you mean?" I asked, humoring her. I already knew that she was going to bring up Harry.

"I just don't think that you're deciding to move for the right reasons."

"What is the right reason?"

My mom disregarded my question. "Would you be happy?"

"Happy? I don't know, maybe. Probably. Most likely."

"And why would you be happy?"

"Because we'll get more money?"

"And that would make you happy?"

"The thought of having to live less in debt for the rest of my life sounds great, so yeah."

"Y/N," she scolded. "Are you sure that this is what you want to do?"

"I'm positive that this is what I want to do. I know that you guys are suspicious of my motives, but I can assure you that I thought this through. Why do you care? We've moved tens of times, it's not like it's a whole new concept to me. Also, I wouldn't just spontaneously decide to move and change my future because of a guy. I don't care about that. I was sad and I got over it, I'm not going to be concerned over a guy that doesn't care about me but I'm not going to hate him either. I'm completely over it, in fact I'll inform him of the good news and make up with him if it'll ease your mind."

"Y/N..."

"And what if he has something to do with my wanting to move? Doesn't that mean that you can worry less because you don't have to worry about my refusing to cooperate?"

"Y/N."

"I didn't even want to like him! I didn't even want anything to do with him! Everyone kept pushing us together and I want for once to be able to decide what I want to do!"

"Y/N!"

"What?"

"I'm sorry," my mom apologized, hugging me and wiping my damp cheeks. I didn't even realize that I was crying. Well, this is awkward. "Everything that your father and I have done was to assure that you would have a better life. I didn't realize that we were neglecting your feeling so much. From now on, I'll make sure to include you in our decisions."

I've never really had cliche and emotional talks with my family, so this was a lot for me to take in. We usually just pretended that any issue that we had didn't exist and try to move on.

"So," my mom started, "are you sure about moving?"

Was I sure? I was sure that I wanted to move but was not sure if I wanted to go. I knew that contemplating my decision would be more confusing for me and it wasn't really fair for me to be this wishy washy with my thoughts and action. I can't just end every conversation about moving with the idea that I should stay.

I looked up at my mom who looked at me kindly, not trying to rush me. 

I nodded. I didn't want my voice to break. I didn't want my stupid feelings to get in the way of my logic and reasoning.

She didn't give me a look of pity or try to pester me about my answer and accepted it.

I kind of wish that she had done the opposite.

---

Wow, long time no see. I'm sorry. I apologize a lot but that's probably because I do things that I need to apologize for a lot.

I'm in school right now. It's kind of awkward. I've had some weird experiences with teachers and fan fiction so hopefully no one is creeping behind me.

B