Finding Your Voice •Namjin•

•Chapter 3•

[a/n] lots of stuff goes down. Strong hinting of rape. Trigger warning, just incase.

Jin sobbed through the pain, but was unable to scream.

'Get it out get it out it hurts!' He wanted to scream, but was entirely unable too- not even capable of fighting underneath the crushing weight holding him down as unspeakable things happened.

Jin heard Tae sobbing somewhere in the corner, stuck to witness this done to his brother, being so young, and unable to do a thing about it. Jin heard the door open and a loud scream, but everything blurred after that, because the weight was lifted and he was freed.

Jin didn't move though, frozen in fear and curled into himself as he cried, hearing voices begin to rise and glass breaking.

Jin opened his eyes slowly, and didn't even realize that his face was wet with tears for a few moments. Similar to in the 'dream' he was curled up on his side, though still feeling entirely vulnerable. Jin didn't want to move for a minute, trying to find it in him to suppress this memory.

And many others like it.

That was years ago, yes, but that didn't mean what caused it wasn't still walking around like some drunken bast-

"Hyuuuunngg..." Tae called in his sleep, rolling over and almost entirely off the bed if he hadn't had stopped just by the edge.

Jin sat up slowly, rubbing his hands over his face to get rid of the tears. Work was soon, and he had to get ready, as well as help Tae get ready.

There was one thing, though, that he looked forward to everyday at work. And that was spending lunch with Namjoon.

Namjoon would take them somewhere to get a sandwich, and they would talk. Or, he would talk and Jin would listen intently.

It hadn't been very long, only a week or so, but it already felt like a custom. Jin learned a lot about Namjoon, how he was such a philosophical person. How he loved music, and writing it. Those were the top things he liked to talk about, and could go on for hours.

Jin didn't mind, either. It was nice to listen to him. Somehow he found Namjoons voice relaxing, and refreshing.

Jin smiled a little to himself, as he slid out of bed to begin his morning routine. Work was about eight, and considering he woke up so early, usually because he simply couldn't sleep- and including his work at the deli at late hours- a full night of sleep was something of a myth.

Jin yawned, heading the general direction of the kitchen. He was more tired these mornings, probably because he worked so much. But it would be worth it, and he told himself that everyday.

Just make it through today, and worry about tomorrow when the time comes. Jin reminded himself, flipping on the stove to start up Tae's breakfist.

•••

The lyrics weren't there.

No matter how hard Namjoon tried, staring at that blank page, trying everything, nothing worked. Whatever he wrote just seemed- wrong.

Usually, he would be able to think of the right words, spun together in a web of rhyme and meaning. But the past month or so, nothing was right. Nothing felt right.