Forever Lost

Chapter Seventeen: Dark Jade

This picture to the side is the closest to what I imagine to be Mathew. (Animation)

~

There's no denying it. Whether I die today or in five years, being in amane is going to kill me.

And I can even see the agony growing within him at the sudden realization at the truth.

"Melody, we are all going to have to die sometime," he tries to reassure me, failing to do so however.

"Cole-" guess I already forgot my alternative. I'll just use this one- "as true as that statement is, it's that fact that it's because of me that I'm going to die. Many die of age, others of disease some even die of murder. But tell me, how many do you know that has, died from themselves?" I ask, sitting up, moaning in agony. He scoots closer to me, still holding onto my hand.

His eyes never leave mine, but I can see the sorrow in his eyes. "Just one, Amy."

My eyes widen in shock. "Amy, she died from amane?" I guess I remember her now, too.

He shakes his head. "No," his eyes fall to the floor "Suicide."

I inhale quickly. "Why would-"

"Because of me." he looks back up, a tear creeping out from the corner of his eye.

"Why did-"

"I don't know why I thought it'd be as easy with her as it had been with Lilly, since the reasons were completely different." he admits guiltily, looking back at the ground.

"Uh- Cole?"

"Plus, Lilly was completely insane and left skipping away in joy of getting rid of a guy like me but Amy? She was different."

"Um- Kane?" There I go again, messing up his name.

"She was smart, blunt, but fragile and as soon as I said why, I broke her." he's panicking now.

"Dude!" I yell, "Ow..." I moan.

"What?" he looks back up at me, voice curious almost.

"What happened?"

He sighs heavily, eyes back to the floor.

"Tell me, do you at all remember senior year?"

"Yeah of course, why would you-" he looks up at me with a confused expression. "Oh yeah, memory loss." he rolls his eyes and I smile. "Don't worry, I still don't remember middle school and most of K through five."

He gives a faint laugh, but the mood falls serious quickly.

"What about senior year?" I ask shyly, the previous agony seeming to have just flown away.

"It was the year I realized that I love you."

I look at him confused.

"Oh, sorry. I came to this realization while I was with Amy."

"How did-" I stopped, automatically sensing he would explain even without my coaxing.

He smiled, but it gave no added emotion to his expression. Just repent all over. He returned his gaze back to the floor.

"Our relationship, me and you I mean, remained as friends as it had always been when I was dating Amy, just with an added person. You and her always got along, you never gave her shit for dating me, even though you still liked me." he paused, glancing nervously at me. "Don't get me wrong, I didn't mind. At that point, I had grown okay with it and you had finally stopped trying." he returned, his gaze back to the floor. "But anyway, you and Amy were cool with each other." he laughed a little. "She'd even help you up after you fell, which was on a daily basis."