My Dead Boyfriend Jumped Through My Window. Wait, what?

(4) My Dead Boyfriend Jumped Through My Window. Wait, what?

Yes, as you may be wondering, I have been here before. More than one time. It was because a few monthes ago Mom and Dad kept getting into arguments and fighting and I guess it was 'interfering' with my grades and crap, so I ended up here, talking about my 'feelings' and stuff. Miss Shilling (the counseler) was really perky and annoying. I didn't like her much, so I made sure to act okay around her, because I didn't want her to worry and call me down here more often.

"Hi, Miss Shilling," I said as I sat down in a chair in front of her desk.

Miss Shilling was writing on a piece of paper when I came in and I guess she didn't notice me come in and she jumped. Uh, hello woman, you just called me here, why are you acting all surprised?

"Oh, hey Kailynn, how has your day been going?" she asked.

"Oh, you know . . . fine. I guess."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah? . . ."

"Are you sure?" I had no idea what she was getting at, but I should have known.

"I'm pretty sure." I said nodding my head.

"I've been seeing you around and you seem pretty . . . normal. I mean, considering that your boyfriend just died, I would have thought you would have seemed . . . I don't know, a little sad, maybe?"

Uh . . . way to be blunt there, Miss. "Okay. I really should be getting to lunch, you know," I said, starting to get up, but her voice made me sit down again. Ugh.

"I think you're in denial."

"What?!"

"Denial, it means--"

"I know what it means! Why would you think I'm in denial? I know what happened. I know perfectly. More than you. I was there when the doctors told us. I was the last person who saw him before he got hit. I SHOULD know, and I do." I was getting really worked up, I guess I'm kind of touchy today.

"Okay, Kailynn, I'm just saying. I think you should talk to someone about how you're feeling and try to get your emotions out. It must be pretty hard."

"I KNOW that. That's the only advice you ever give. 'Talk to someone.' 'Get your emotions out.' I'm sorry, but I don't need to get my emotions out right now because I'm fine. I really need to go because I'm starving and I have a headache and I'm not in the best of moods, as you can tell. So, please, can I just go now?"

"Yes, you may. But I'll check on you on Monday."

"Fine. Bye," I said over my shoulder while practically running out the door. Jeesh, she gets on my nerves. It's like she thinks that's her job. . . . Oh, wait . . . it is her job.

***

I got to lunch and got my food and sat at my usual table. It was me and a bunch of kids including my best friends Becca, Austie, Elizabeth, Haley, and Jaimie. The other people were my friends I just didn't talk to or hang out with them as much. They asked me what that was all about and I just told them that they found my book that I lost a few days ago. I lied because I didn't want to get into the counseler thing. They didn't know I went to the counseler the other times, either. I didn't want them to become involved in the drama, even though I knew they probably could have helped me . . .

I barely talked the rest of the day. Nothing else happened. My friends looked at me every chance they could with worried expressions on their face. I found myself wondering why at one point, and then realized, uh duh, they think my boyfriend just died. Well, he did, but then he came back, and this is all too confusing and I'm gonna stop thinking about this right now.