Rose, Ebony & Snow || Farkle Minkus

16

Farkle was still asleep.

I woke up ten minutes before my alarm was scheduled, so I turned it off so it wouldn't disturb him. He looked so peaceful.

He didn't snore but he breathed awfully loud when he was sleeping. It was cute.

He was always cute. There was no denying that. But all my thoughts about him continued to contradict each other. I told him that I love him last night. Or at least, that I think I love him. I think I was confused. I still am.

Before Farkle and I got so involved, I knew how I felt...or at least I thought I did. I've been in love with Farkle since the third grade, I always told myself. I loved everything about who he was and what he did. Maybe something changed, maybe when I realized he was the kind of guy to cheat on his girlfriend...or maybe when I realized that I was the one who caused him to do so.

Guilt. 

I don't think my feelings about him changed at all. I think that my feelings about myself changed. And I rejected Farkle when he told me he loved me, because I couldn't even recognize myself after what happened. But if I still cared about him after his mistake, is it really so hard to believe that he still cared about me after mine?

I threw a pillow at his head, causing him to groan.

"Get up, it's a Wednesday," I told him, trying to suppress my smile as he snuggled into my pillow.

He nodded with his eyes barely open, "Where's the bathroom?"

"Down the hall, first door on the left."

He stumbled out of my room, nearly tripping over his own feet.

I made my way to our small kitchen to get a glass of water. Farkle walked in looking more awake with his hair pushed out of his eyes.

"I heard what you said by the way," he whispered as he grabbed himself a glass.

"What?" I asked, sitting up on the counter. 

Farkle opened my cupboard, grabbing peanut butter and an apple from the counter. He sliced the apple on a plate and slid it over to me with a spoon for the peanut butter.

"Last night. I heard what you said before I fell asleep," he bit his bottom lip.

"You were pretty out of it, Farkle. I didn't say anything," I said with confidence. I had to be sure about everything before I blurted out anything else. My thoughts weren't clear last night, and they're not any clearer this morning.

"Alrighty then," he pecked my cheek and stole an apple slice before running back to my room.

I ran my pinkie over the spot his lips touched. Was this a normal thing now?

He came back with my bag in his hand. "Let's get going now."

"Do you wanna stop by your place?" I suggested. His was in sweatpants and a baggy sweatshirt.

"Nah, I stopped caring about what I wear to school awhile ago. And I'll borrow some paper and a pencil from Zay or something," he said as he slipped on his shoes. 

I put away the peanut butter and followed him out the door, locking it behind me.

Once we made it on the subway, as if it was the most normal thing in the world, Farkle interlaced our fingers and gently kissed my forehead.

He held my hand until we arrived at school. Everyone was there. It hasn't been like that for awhile.

The only difference was that no one was talking to each other besides Riley and Zay. Maya stood in front of the vending machine pretending to choose something to buy and Lucas went straight to the bathroom when he saw me.