Author Games: Panemdemic

Task Two: Scores

Well, that round was... interesting, to say the least. We really did not expect the tides to be turned so quickly. This really showed us which tributes are committed, who knows their character best, and the rate at which each of you is improving. Thank you to all of you who did hand in- we really appreciate it.

On another note, all of you who still are not following the rules listed in Binding Symptoms have had 0.5 points subtracted from your score this round. This will continue until you begin following these necessary rules. Additionally, notes for those of you who have not provided something else will continue to be withheld until you read through the rules and offer what we're looking for.

Late entries had one point subtracted per hour (this amount was rounded).

Because it is an even round, ballots will not count against scores, but will be privately recorded for the Ballot Challenges in Task Four.

<><><>

Bonus Points:

Congratulations to Vida Jemison for submitting the first entry, yet again! You will have 0.5 points added to your final score, in addition to the bonus above. However, since you were missing something in the rules, you will not receive an extended feedback as typically given to the first entry.

We were disappointed in the lack of punctuality exhibited by all of you. Because of this, we've decided to award an additional 0.5 points to all tributes who handed in more than one hour before the deadline- Vida Jemison, Pimbep Cottage, Blaze Orion, Mason Falkov, Kaya Maldoran, and Train Wreck. Our sincerest thanks to all of you for such promptness in submitting.

Additionally, we'd like to award three tributes who... amused us this time around. This was in the obvious procrastination they fell victim to during the days and hours leading up to the deadline. Anyways, we'd like to award the "4:59pm" award to Raya Vinaia, Carmine Valerius, and Aemilia Cassius for their impeccable timing. You will each have 0.5 points added to your score.

But no, we're not giving that again, so don't be gettin' any ideas...

<><><>

District 1 Male: Paris De La Cruz

Score: 0

0 = 0

Feedback~ No entry received.

<><><>

District 1 Female: Aroma Fastner

Score: 6.75

6.75 (-1) (-0.5) = 5.25

Feedback~ Late entry.

<><><>

District 2 Male: Mason Falkov

Score: 8.75

8.75 (+0.5) = 9.25

Feedback~ Let's start at the end- it felt rushed, and a little abrupt to me. It left me searching for a little more reasoning on why he should have left her behind- though you'd provided that he didn't like her naivety, what was it about a formal introduction that really set him off? Also, I was missing a little at the end of Mason in general- how did he say his name? What made him tell her right away? I like how you've developed the bond between Mason and Kaya, and his thoughts about her were very obvious throughout this entry. I definitely got a feel of his bitterness and how he didn't want to soften up. Something else I think you could improve is the way you described the arena in the first part of your entry. Try putting Mason directly into the scene- instead of just saying what it looks like, say how Mason's eyes sweep across the expanse. Explain how the darker edge effects Mason mentally and physically. Perhaps he shivers, or wants to shiver but stills himself to maintain his toughness. Maybe his heart sinks with a sense of dread. It really enhances your writing when you show instead of tell.