Meadow

Chapter 16

Meadow

I watched him walk around the car. I want to explain everything to him. I just don’t know where to start. Is he going to be angry when he finds out that I haven’t told him about her harassing me? Will he take up for her? Will he trust me now? I feel like I may be over reacting but the truth is, I really don’t know Dyson well.

He sat in the car and put on his belt. I had the most overpowering urge to just reach up and touch his smooth face. I put both hands in my lap and stared out the window to stop myself from doing so. The silence should have been extremely awkward considering everything that had happened in the last hour. But somehow, I was completely comfortable and felt…I felt safe.

Sitting back against the seat I closed my eyes and rested my poor aching head. I watched the vivid memories flash through my mind. When I walked into her class, she wasn’t scared of me; she was scared of what I was going to say in front of Dyson. How naive of me, to think that she could be scared of me, even a little bit.  I wonder if she knows how bad she scares me. Can she see right through me? How I hope not.

I felt my breathing change and almost fell asleep. I felt the warm, becoming familiar, feel of Dy’s hand swallowing mine. I squeezed his fingers tightly for only a second, to recognize and welcome his tender touch.  How easy it would be to drift off, into what I would want to be, a dreamless peaceful sleep.

“We are here.”  I felt the car come to a complete stop and reluctantly opened my eyes. I tried to focus as instantaneously I realized we were not at my house.  “I hope you don’t mind. I am not ready to leave you yet and have a good feeling your dad wouldn’t approve of me being in your house with you…alone.” His smile sent chills down my spine and had me smiling back at him without warning. I couldn’t help but smile when he does. Yet another first for me; a smile, just a simple action, can make my body feel so many reactions. It’s really unbelievable.

“I am glad Dy. I wasn’t ready to leave you yet either.” I looked around before I finished. “Any particular reason why you have chose the city park?” I hadn’t been here since I was a kid. The ancient swing sets look strange beside the new picnic tables and gazebo.  When he didn’t answer I turned back towards him. His milk chocolate eyes were deep and focused on me. I squeezed his hand that mine still rested in. I smiled gently. “You’re beautiful to me” his words took me off guard. Not because I had never been complimented before. But because I had never been complimented with such raw, heart felt deep truthfulness. I knew he meant it, he meant it with all of his heart. As he laid his out to me, mine almost melted.

No words would come to mind. I never broke eye contact and leaned in slowly to kiss him. I didn’t have to go all the way; he leaned in and closed the distance. I couldn’t stop the urge to place my hand on his face.  I could feel his jaw moving in motion with mine.  I closed my eyes and allowed him to take me away. My body came alive with every second that passed by. It wasn’t a sloppy lustful kiss. His lips softly caressed mine. Both of his hands came to my face as he kissed me deeper. Nothing else mattered. Not Christy, not my dad, not school, the knot on my head…nothing. Just Dyson, the smell of his cologne whirling through my mind, the feel of his lips taking my every breath away, his hands holding me tight and steady and the exotic feeling of my heart melting within my chest. I knew at that very moment that I did in fact love him. I don’t know how, and I have enough brain left to know that I shouldn’t, that I hardly know him; regardless of the facts, I love him.

Dyson

I sat on the lush green grass with her back against my chest.  I slowly ran my hands through her hair. I lifted my fingers and allowed strands to slowly fall. Her hair is so soft.  The sun seemed to bounce off of it as it glistened.

For the next two hours we talked about everything from the smallest details of each other to some really personal stuff. I found out she is an adrenaline junky, faster is better.  She loves dogs and hates cats. She wants to visit London before she dies. And the most shocking is; she is still a virgin. Let’s be honest, there are not a lot of girls that haven’t given up there virginity. She said, “It’s important to me. It’s something I can never get back. I just want to share that with someone I love; someone who loves me.” She turned towards me to make sure I was listening to her.  “I want to make sure he really loves me and isn’t just saying it to get what he wants.” She searched me for my response, and I thought carefully before I did. “I understand exactly what you are saying. And I respect you more than you know.” I did. I knew girls that had done it to keep a man, to make another man jealous, to make a man love her…or whatever reason. There are more girls like that than not and there is nothing wrong with them; I am just sure they regret it, if the man turns out not being what she thought. This is more often than not.

We sat silent for a few moments watching the sun begin to set behind the huge oak trees surrounding the park. The people had thinned out now. The only person I could see was a man walking his German shepherd. 

“I am not a virgin.” I blurted.  When she didn’t respond I continued. “Christy had just broken up with me.  I was younger than I really want to admit. The girl said she had loved me since middle school. I hurt so bad I just wanted to feel something other than pain. I was terrified when Christy brought up sex, but with this girl I was confident. I knew she wasn’t a virgin because she had dated a friend of mine years earlier. What I didn’t know was she was only trying to get him back. It worked too, he was so jealous and infuriated, and he took her back and has never spoken to me again.”

The thought of laying with her now made me sick. I wish that I could have experienced something like that with Meadow. I understand exactly why she is waiting. I’d give anything to get it back now.  “So, I know Meadow, I know why your waiting…I wish I had.”

“The more I get to know you, the more I like you.” Meadow turned in my lap and rested her head on my chest.  For the first time since I have known her she almost seemed shy. Her eyes stayed focused on the ground.  “Opening up to people isn’t exactly the easiest thing for me to do. Other than my parents, River, and Dakota; no one else really knows me.” Her eyes finally met mine. I smiled at her. “Thank you for letting me in.” I replied.

Suddenly the sound of deep barking bellowed thought the trees. A man’s voice rang after it. The huge Shepherd came running past us with his leash dangling behind him, as he chased a lighting fast squirrel.  The over weight man ran after his excited dog as fast as he could without spilling his milkshake.  “Major!” The man yelled along with a long line of curse words. 

Meadow and I busted out laughing as the plump man gave it all he had. The mood was lightened tremendously and we spent the next forty five minutes laughing with each other.  Just sitting there, holding her, hearing her laugh, watching her eyes dance…I think I could fall in love with her. I think I could love her like I have never loved anyone. It’s too soon to tell right now I guess. But one thing is for sure, I know I don’t want to be away from her.