nineteen

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"I'm sorry, believe me, I love you but not in that way," -Sam Smith, Not In That Way

"I'm sorry, believe me, I love you but not in that way," -Sam Smith, Not In That Way

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pic of Justin and his cousin, Braxton

pic of Justin and his cousin, Braxton

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gif of Shane hugging Jasmine

"Are you sure you don't want to wait in the car?" My mom asks as the rehab facility comes into our focus and dad searches for a parking space. She's been on edge ever since we left the hotel. I know she's trying to avoid this reconciliation from going terribly wrong, but she's not going to stop it from happening at all.

"It's going to take forever for him to sign the release forms. I'm coming in mom." I say, swinging my car door open. My mom is pacing beside the car impatiently for me and my dad.

"Can you guys please hurry up? I want to see my baby." Mom urges, bugging us both to speed it up. I roll my eyes. Honestly, her nervous energy is rubbing off on me and I don't want any of it. My heart is already in my stomach and I just need to see Alex and make sure he's okay. Visions of him passed out on the floor and lying almost lifeless in a hospital bed is flickering in my brain and I need to replace them with whatever Alex is behind those glass doors. I hope it's a healthy, happy Alex. A forgiving older brother.

I walk behind my parents as they walk through the automatic doors into the facility. I hang back as they go to the front desk and speak to the slightly older woman sat there. They exchange a few words and the lady is on the phone for a little while before my parents both sit next to me in the tiny waiting area.

"Alex is gathering his stuff and she said he'll be down in a while. Please don't bombard your brother when you see him and don't force him into a conversation. This is going to be a relaxed, drama-free day, understand?" I hold back a sarcastic retort and nod my head in agreement. I got here at least so I'm not going to push my mom. If she ever lets Alex out of her sight tonight I can hopefully get him alone to talk.

The elevators adjacent to us open, and I see a muscular, lean body exit from its confinement. His long fingers run through his short hair that was long and shaggy the last time I saw it. His hazel eyes scanned the room before landing on our parents. His eyes brighten, a smile I missed desperately encompassing his face. My mom is up and running towards him and Alex swoops her into his arms, swinging her around as she cries out gleefully. He's taller than her now, and his newly acquired muscles lift her above the ground. She's crying and he's shushing her. My father waits patiently behind them and when mom lets Alex go he grins at dad and they embrace each other, patting one another's back.

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