2. Xavier Alan Phoebe {bxb}

CHAPTER 8✓

Xavier

I didn't move from my spot on his bed. It smelled like him, my Christian. I was too comfort to move, I felt far to safe and I couldn't leave the bed, I didn't want to. It felt like old times, before he turned 18 and found that we were mates, back when I wasn't so afraid of inflicting harm. When it was safe, when I was safe.

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"Chwistian? "I questioned softly into the darkened room. Christian groaned and pulled me closer and I stiffled a giggle.

"Sleep, Xavier." He mumbled with a sigh. "Sleep," He pulled the blanket over my head and I giggled before pushing them away.

"No, want to go out! "I demanded. He whined before blinking and rubbing his eyes.

"Tomorrow, when the sun is out, okay?" I pouted, my eyes widening.

"Pwease? "I begged and he sighed.

"We will get in trouble." I huffed.

"No twouble, daddy protect! "I grabbed hold of the pendant around my neck and he smiled softly.

"Yeah," he mumbled and got out of bed. I giggled and he chuckled with a yawn. "You are why I fall asleep in class."  I clapped my small chubby 4 year old hands.

"Class bowing, anyhow. "I claimed and he laughed gleefully.

"Oh, you're so cute." He claimed, brushing the hair out of my face. I leaned into his touch and I felt so safe, so happy.

He pulled me towards him and I snuggled into his embrace. Warm and filled with love. Then he hoisted me up onto his shoulder and ran out his bedroom. I giggled the whole way and bounced, holding onto his waist.

"Chwistian. "

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"You dream about the passed often?" I jumped slightly, my eyes shooting open. The same face as my own stared back at me, scared and disgustingly attractive. I took a deep breath and calmly repeated to myself.

"You are not real, you are not real. " I chanted and he laughed at me rather gleefully.

"That simply will not do."  He chuckled as the door opened and Christian stood by the door, shock clear on his face before he blinked and offered a smile.

"Thought you'd have dissappeared by now," he said softly, it made my heart squeeze painfully but I could understand, l was always going away, hiding from plain sight. It made sense to just assume I'd gone and dissappear, it was my signature move. I looked away and scratched my head, glancing at older me who stared dreamily at Christian, I scowled.

"I don't know how you manage not to jump him every time your alone. "He comments and I throw a pillow, frightening Christian.

"Sorry, I...I saw a bug..." I mumbled and Christian raised a brow before he began to sniff the air. His eyes flickered and a weird purplish kind of mist seemed to float around his eyes before he began to look comfused. I furrowed my brows and looked to older me who seemed bored and unconcerned.

"Wait, why... "He trailed off and shook his head." You hungry? "He asked instead. I nodded slowly before I stood up and walked towards him. I paused in front of him.

"Thank you..." I trailed off and offered him a smile before making my way down the stairs to the kitchen.

There was soft chatter and laughter until I entered the room. Suddenly there was silence, which I ignored.

"Hello, Xavier. " Two identical voices of Scoot and Marshal, Theodore and Winston's twins. I turned to look at them and smiled. They were identical, both with startling bright gray eyes amd short black and white hair, it was mostly black, with white streaks here and there, if you didn't know them, you would never tell them apart. Scott smiled brightly however, his eyes sparking with curiosity. Marshal was slightly taller, just by an inch, and he hardly smiled, but was always so dramatic, he was a big Star Wars fan so he always had on a shirt belonging to Star Wars.

"Scoot, "I nodded to him and he winked, "Marshal," I nodded to him and his cheeks took on a light pink tint. They were only about a year and two months younger than me. I looked around to see others minding their own business and others trying to smile at me.

I got what I needed and headed for the living room.

Danielle was seated weirdly, her feet dangled above where her head should be and Travis sat on the floor, his blonde hair being braided by one of the pack teens, I believe her name was Fiona. Trent was playing with Kathryn's hair and she looked about ready to fall asleep. It was a nice sight, but I felt out, like I didn't belong. Ace was forcefully trying to sit on Claude's lap, who kept pushing him back and scowling. Ace only giggled and continued to try, Claude didn't fight it long enough.  Other pack members were seated around lazily, talking about who knows what.

Christian sat on a single couch, chuckling with some huge looking men. Just watching it I felt intimidated. Suddenly there was someone beside me. I didn't bother to look because I knew, nobody else could see him but me.

"What are you going to do, now? "He asked and I swallowed." It's obvious that you don't belong there. "He said softly and my brows furrowed." Everyone is so comfortable, so together, and you...well, you are barely around. "He spoke by my ear, his breath fanning my ear and I looked away from the people I was supposed to call family." You can't expect them to just...accept you right? You can't honestly believe they would take you in with open arms. " 

I felt as though my entire body was frozen. My heart squeezed painfully and my eyes stung. He was right though, how could they want me back? How could I expect to just walk in, sit down and be a part of them? I bit my lip then.

"Are you alright?" I cringed away from the foreign touch and nodded fast, my eyes burning, not caring to look up and see who it was. I took off then, as fast as my feet could carry me, I climbed up the stairs and ran across the hallway to the dance studio. I locked the door, breathing deeply, I leaned against it.

Why did things have to be so depressing? So unfair?

I never chose this, this life of complete solitude and hatred.

"It's okay, I accept you. "I looked up to the figment of my imagination, hatred seeping into my blood as I stared at my own scared face.

"You are me, how could you not?"  I hissed and he grinned happily.

"True. "I shook my head.

I couldn't help it as I fell to my knees, the plate in my clattered to the floor boards. Then I let them go, the tears fell from my eyes as raindrops would from the sky. My eyes stared dead ahead and I made no sound. I just sat there feeling hallowed and empty.

"It'll be okay, "He said," You and me, against the world. " in other words, me myself and I for eternity, such a sad fact.

A\N
15 December 2016
Received: 3 November 2021