2. Xavier Alan Phoebe {bxb}

CHAPTER 3✓

Few months later after Caster Xavier and Cyrus have left.

Xavier

The night sky was comforting and the stars were beautiful. I stared up without much thought but one.

Why didn't he do the same for me?

I felt my eyes water painfully as I thought to a few months ago when the most impossible thing I ever thought could happen happened. I thought of how unfair it had been that he couldn't do anything for me. That Xavier, one of the Caster council members took away the power surging through my unknown sisters veins but didn't do it for me.

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Caster Xavier emerged with the limp body of Hayle. I don't know how but I just knew she was different. I could feel a dull absence which had been the only thing about her which made me more comfortable and less suffocated next to her.

He laid her down and I just knew then.

"You...you took it away," I had mumbled more to myself than them. I looked up at him with shining eyes. The dark magic which resided within me and had once been in her was gone and I wanted that freedom. "What did you do?" I asked him.

"I don't really know... I, I just knew how." I stared at him the entire time, wishing and wondering. I knew I had to get him alone.

I followed behind him down the hallway. I held his elbow and stared deep into his eyes.

"Take it from me." I begged and his brows furrowed.

"What?" he whispered back confused.

"My powers, please, just, take them, I don't want them." I knew I'd start crying if he didn't. His face morphed into comprehension.

"Xavier, I can't do that." he whispered.

"What do you mean you can't? You did it for her, why can't you do it for me?" I was outraged and I was feeling cheated. I felt as wet salty water slid down my cheeks.

"I don't think you understand." I tensed at the voice behind me. "Her powers weren't necessarily taken away, they are rather... sleeping for a long time." I turned to Theodore.

"What? "

"Yeah, she's still powerful, she just won't be able to use them, for a long time."

"Ok, well, I want that too." Theodore laughed then at me and shook his head, his hand on my shoulder.

"That is not the path fate has in mind for you."

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I glared at the clear lake water as I came out of my memory in anger. Nothing was ever going to go my way, was it? I raised my hand up to eye level and stared. Suddenly Christian filled my head like he always did. His vibrant hazel brown eyes and blonde hair. So innocent and so kind. How could I allow myself to be with him when I could hardly be with myself?

I knew what they thought, the pack, Theodore and my siblings, that I'm not being fair, that I'm ruining everything. I don't want to ruin anything and that being said, I can't be with Christian because I could ruin him. I dropped my hand and buried my face in my knees.

"Xavier," I tensed on instinct and clenched my hands into fists. His heavy footsteps grew closer and I kept still. He didn't say anything as he sat beside me, close enough to touch but still so far away. I wanted nothing more than to climb into his lap and have him hold me, but I couldn't, I couldn't risk us. He sighed and I just knew he wanted to touch me. I sighed too, remembering how much closer we used to be.

"Do you...remember?" He asked softly. "You were only ten years old when I brought you here." I opened my eyes, my head still planted firmly into my knees. I didn't answer and he blew out a soft breath." You managed to fall off your new bike on the first try and you were so sad, "I blinked away the tears which formed." I wanted to make you feel better so I brought you here. I sang to you, like always and you fell asleep right on this very spot in my arms. "I furrowed my brows wondering where he was getting at. He let out a soft chuckle." I remember how handsome I thought you looked...absolutely angelic." I felt him get closer and this time, our arms brushed. The energy hummed in the air and my pulse quickened.

"I kissed you, you know...while you slept." I blinked and the wet tear fell onto my cheek.

"I wasn't sleeping," I whispered to him as I remembered how soft his lips had been. How much I wanted them to stay.

"You didn't talk to me for a week after." He said. "I didn't know why because I thought you actually were sleeping." I lifted my head and turned to him

"I was ten, Christian and confused. I was ashamed at what I felt... What I feel. " He stared back at me.

"I spent all my life loving you and only you," he confessed. "I only understood why when I turned 18." He gave me a small sad smile and I looked away. "Still after you told me no, I couldn't stop how much I felt...how much I feel." His finger trailed down my back. "Why can't you let me love you? "He asked finally in a whisper. "Why can't we go back to how things were?" I clenched my eyes closed.

"You know why, Christian." His finger found my chin and he turned me towards him.

"I don't, Xavier, not entirely. I'm not your biological brother. I'm your mate. Why can't you just accept it?" Suddenly he looked tired and so worn, my heart broke just a little.

"I would kill you, Christian. "He sighed then and stood.

"But you're killing me now." He turned away and began walking back. I bit my lip in anger and looked down at the pendant which dangled from my neck. It was warm, I held onto it and pulled harshly. I stood to my feet then and looked out at the reasonably sized lake. I drew my hand back and threw it right in the middle.

"This is your fault." I whispered. Faintly I heard the soft sound of song, broken and sad but short. I continued staring off into the lake as it settled when a pair of familiar bright eyes shone in the darkness of the woods on the other side. I squinted as a feeling of safety and home washed over me. I shock my head in shock.

"Dad?" I stepped closer and then blinked once.

Our father had always been around. He'd disappeared for weeks at a time, but at least we knew he was alive, he was okay when he came back whenever he did. His coming and going was always sudden, unexpected but expected. Our concern was more for if he'd come back the next time he left, if we'd ever find him if it felt too long since we last saw him. He was always a wolf and he spoke rarely through the pack link.

So far, it had been two weeks since I last laid eyes on his wolf and so, I couldn't help be filled with hope that it could be him.

I slowly made my way around the lake, the eyes stayed on me until they went out. I froze and stared at the complete blackness which reminded me of my soul. I felt fear envelope me as dread settled in. I took a step back before sprinting for the pack house without looking back.

Somehow, I wanted to go back.

A\N
Written: 5 November 2016
Reviewed: 21 October 2021