2. Xavier Alan Phoebe {bxb}

CHAPTER 4✓

I took a deep breath as Kathryn stared me down. Her eyes were blank and dead. It was so unlike her. Usually she looked at me with love and care, as though reaching out for me through her eyes, begging me to be okay, to be the little brother she can take care of. Instead, anger sparked within them as she squinted.

The pack was around us. This was one of the rare occasions where I left the safe haven that is my dance studio. I held my fists up, spreading my feet. This was practice, everyone had to train, I did it rarely because I honestly don't believe I'd need it.

"Don't hold back, just don't kill each other." Winston said, Theodore wrapped around him like a vice. "And no magic, Xavier."

Kathryn cracked her neck, her legs spread apart. She didn't raise her hands. I knew I wouldn't enjoy this.

"Finally come out of hiding. "She commented boredly. "Aren't you just the generous type." Her tone was harsh and I felt a stab in my chest.

I kept quiet as my cheeks flushed. She inched forward and swung for my face, I ducked down and slipped my leg out, sweeping her off her feet. She fell with a huff before standing.

"Ok, I see how it is." She came at me with a newfound furry, she swung hard and fast. I ducked as fast as I could until her leg swung out and caught my stomach. I gasped as the air left my lungs. I fell onto all fours, her hand grabbed my hair and her knee met my face. I groaned and fell back as an echo of gasps rang out, my eyes watered and I held my bleeding nose.

"Not so tough now, hmm?" She said. Her eyes darkened with anger. "Are you going to go back to your hiding place?" She hissed. "Going to shut the doors on us like always? Keep us at arms length because obviously that's how siblings treat one another, isn't it?" Her voice dripped with sarcasm. I felt my heart clench at the venom behind each word.

I stood to my feet and spat at the ground.

"Ready for more? There's a whole lot more from where that came." She narrowed her eyes before she came at me. I narrowed mine too before her fist shot out, I grabbed her wrist and flipped her, she landed on her feet, her arm wrapped around my neck. I gasped and choked as she squeezed. My eyes watered and all the blood rushed to my head. I gasped.

"Kathryn, stop." I recognised Christian's voice. I elbowed my sister and she gasped, her hold loosened. I twisted her arm and she groaned. I pushed her down and she turned her head to me.

"Kathryn, what is wrong?" I croaked and held onto my neck in pain. She stood.

"What's wrong? "She shook her head. "You don't have the right to ask me that." She spat. "After all this time you're going to ask what is wrong when what is wrong is you?" She chuckled humourlessly. "Do you even know what you are doing to him?"

"Kathryn. "Christian warned. I blinked in disbelief.

"No, Christian. I'm so sick of babying him. All you do is mop around like some five year old and we're all just meant to understand. You think you're the only one who lost a father but you aren't, you spend all your time beating yourself up along with all of us, for what?" Tears streaned down her face. "Christian is our brother, but he is your mate before that. You continue to reject him like it's nothing and you are killing him, Xavier. How much more suffering do we all have to bear before you wake up and stop acting like the damn world revolves around you. "

Fresh hot tears streamed down my face as I stared into the eyes of my sister. I felt my heart break into a thousand pieces.

"Mabye if I'd been allowed to die like I was meant to, you wouldn't have to feel like this." She swallowed.

"Your death would have been ten times worse." I shook my head, so many words rang in my head, so many feelings in my heart.

"It wouldn't, because you wouldn't have even known me." I turned away from her and walked through the opening of the crowd into the woods.

"Xavier." Christian called out and a sob broke through. I shook my head and began to run for the woods, allowing my legs to guide me.

--------

I couldn't stop the tears from falling, each word coming from Kathryn's lips echoed in my head, and each of the accusation true. My heart felt as though it were breaking. I looked up at the sky then which had began to darken.

I felt heavy, my chest hurt and I wanted to scream, so I did just that. I opened my mouth and let it rip. The birds chirped and flew away, suddenly it felt colder but I didn't mind. It looked darker and I didn't care. I was just glad they chose not to follow me, that Christian kept his distance.

I sat back down, my eyes red and suddenly I could see better and I knew that my eyes were violet then. I looked down and closed my eyes.

"I just want to be normal, "I sniffed pitifully." I just want to be human." I whispered to myself. "Why is that so hard to understand? Why can't they see that I'm dangerous?" I laid my hand on the ground and the grass withered, turning black." That all I do is destroy?" My hand lit up in bright violet flames before turning the natural colour of bright orange mixed with red." I should not have been allowed life. "I sobbed then and the light flickered off and darkness surrounded me.

"This is new." My head snapped up and I squinted then into the darkness in confusion.

"W-who's there? "I questioned, my voice cracking. I honestly hoped the person was dangerous, mabye they would do me and the rest of the world a favour and kill me off.

"Just a friend." I stood up then and swallowed as a twig snapped.

"If you are a friend, why are you hiding?" I narrowed my eyes as the person laughed.

"Because, I didn't want to overwhelm you." He stepped out from hiding and I gasped at the sight of his face. I took a quick frightened step back,my heart racing and my palms sweating. The grass beneath my feet withered and died, responding to my intense feeling of fear.

"You can't be real. "I whispered and the familiar face smiled dangerously.

"Oh, but I am." I looked back, still unable to understand how there was another me, but older and scared to the point of disgust.

A\N
Written: 5 November 2016
Reviewed: 3 November 2021