Number #2 - Ski Masks;
Seems as it's been about 30 years since anyone wore a ski mask to go skiing, can we finally face the facts? If you see someone in a ski mask, he's not a Winter Olympian, he's gonna burgle some (probably) defenceless mother fucker.
Don't congratulate him on his finish at Lillehammer - knock him the Fuck out.
I'm not sure you could walk into a ski lodge wearing a ski mask without getting gunned down by the police. If not the real police, at least the fashion police - there may be no dumber looking piece of clothing than the ski mask.
Why do they even sell ski masks anymore? They wouldn't if we called them robber masks.
If your store sells robber masks, you deserve to be robbed at least once a week.
I think ski masks are about the dumbest thing in the world, and I will do my best to ruin the ski mask industry, no matter what it takes.
The Big Bad Bastard.