Sunday 15th December 2013:

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Number #57 - Gillette;

The makers of the Sensor, Sensor Excel, Mach 3, and Mach 3 Turbo raise the question: how many ways are there to drag sharp metal across your face?

Folk were pretty happy and pretty well-shaven back when they were dragging a measly two blades across their delicate visage.

But that wasn't good enough for the lads down at Gillette. They wanted to give us the privilege of shaving with at least 3 blades, 5 weird little rubber fins and a thin blue lubricating strip. Oh, and just to be nice, they're going to charge everybody about a hundred pounds for each replaceable cartridge. in which they won't last more than 2 shaves before they work worse than a single-bladed disposable.

When will it end? How many blades do we really need? I suggest they save us all the trouble of incremental growth and skip right to the 'Gillette Excel Mach 47 Turbo Super Duper Deluxe' - 47 blades, 8 space aged lasers and 24 acid strips that shave you to the bone and leave your skull sexily smooth with less irritation, even when shaving against the grain.

Get your shit sorted Gillette, you are really starting to piss me off.

Yours sincerely,

The Big Bad Bastard.

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