Within time you will realise that I am completely insane, therefore I advice you to embrace my insanity and revel in it!

My first rant is going to be about something petty, bit like me really.

Thetefore My first thing to rant about is 'Ambiguous warning shouts'...

Why the fuck would someone tell you to "watch out" or "mind your head". Your first natural human instinction when somebody tells you to "watch out" is to look in the direction of the impending danger.

You ain't doing anybody a favour, you are simply causing more damage, ya prick.

If something is coming towards me I would appreciate a "duck" or "step left/right" that way I can prevent further danger from entering into my already sullen life.

Hope you all take this into consideration, and if not then you can go and quietly fuck yourself.

Yours sincerely,

The Big Bad Bastard.