i try to write about other things in my
life but i can't. i suppose i could but the
truth is that all that's on my mind is
you and the only thing i can actually do
is talk to you and think of you and write
of you and listen to music that reminds
me of you and drown in my mind and
whisper from the outside with my smile
that i'm doing okay and in reality? i'm
hurting my soul is blue although it
always is so what's the difference? i'm
lost and in pain, confused (but not
really) >> i realize that you're happy
when i leave you alone so that's what i
do and oh dear lord, i still am writing
to you. you you you. i'm sorry for still
loving and i'm sorry for still
feeling >>
it's the only way i can tell i'm alive right
now. i'm sorry for writing my story
down i'm sorry for not being able to get
over you. i'm sorry we're through i'm
sorry for myself. i'm so pathetic and
quiet and patiently waiting. i'm waiting
for him to ask you, and perhaps he
already has, but i'm waiting for you to
say yes and fall in love >> even though
you probably already are. i'm waiting
for him to make your days spectacular
in ways that i never could, i'm waiting
for you two to have the second chance
that somehow, you still want. i'm
waiting i'm waiting i'm waiting. for my
life to begin or maybe end, i don't
know. i'm waiting for me to become
even more pathetic because i know that
when you two are together, i'll still
fucking like you, and i'll be in more
despair every time >> oh my ___ every
time i see >>
i have to see >>
you guys
together arm in arm hand in hand
smiling that beautiful >>
stop. i have to stop. it's not here yet,
but what else do i do besides wait for
you to be happy. with
.. him.
