i miss seeing our faces light up like stars on christmas eve when we used to sing in a floating candle forest. i miss our smiles that proclaimed happiness and we all didn't really care who knew. we loved and lived in the moment, carefully carrying the weight of each other on our shoulders, begging the question "could this family be any closer?" geographically, yes. emotionally, no. we sold our souls to each other. and perhaps i'm only focusing on the good instead of the bad like i usually do. but the point is: we try. our closeness differs like filters on a photograph but do i mind that? no. for i know our love could carry ships across the oceans, letters across the sea. it has, in fact. those times you were no longer in the states (there are fifty of them you know), you rowed a boat (you actually took a plane) over to those countries you thought were beautiful. i thought they were too, simple enough, because they had you.
anyway, i miss seeing your face appear, even if just on a screen. even if just in a dream that i hadn't expected to have while i sleep. even if just a moment of pure silver >> where's the lining on this cloud? my thoughts keep drifting away from the object. but truly i just really want you to stay.
i know you can't.
