Alone With Ross

•73•

"It's fine, I should've watched you while you were drinking." She was sitting at the desk, straddling the chair, her chin on the backrest. "Why didn't you tell me you were going through something?" Her tone had a twinge of accusation in it making my embarrassment deepen.

"I couldn't bare to talk about it." I confessed. "I didn't want to break down again."

"But you broke down last night, a lot." We both looked around the room, things were thrown astray, the few posters I had on the wall were ripped to shreds, and what broke my heart the most is I had broken my phone, losing everything.

Pictures of him, songs he wrote for me, excerpts I wrote about him. All of my contacts. I couldn't help but think it was God giving me a nudge, making me take the last step of a clean break.

I could easily get Mama Vi's number back and she could get me everyone else's, but I'm going to leave it for a bit. Let's see how I cope.

"If you don't want to tell me, it's fine, I won't pry. But we do have to talk about all that had happened last night." Ashley was looking out for me, I know it deep down, but I can't help but feel her judgement.

"I broke up with my boyfriend, because he went to go see his ex-girlfriend to see if he still had feelings for her." There, the easiest way to put it, rather than the long tale of our shitty pasts, and our even shittier friendship.

"Well, I feel like you made the right choice." She smiled a bit, I had to remind myself that she doesn't know the whole story before I could yell at her.

"So what all do you remember from last night?" She changed the subject.

I remember feeling lonely. I remember the way he would try to cheer me up when I was sad by asking me about my favorite stories, and he would sit and listen to me drone on and on about The Chaos of Stars.

"Uh, I remember drinking, sitting on the porch, a bunch of people started to go outside so I went back inside, had more to drink, then the last thing I remember was your boyfriend carrying me to your car." I'm an idiot.

"Yeah, thank god he stayed, I don't know what I would've done." She sighed. "Well, you were upstairs, on the phone." She seemed hesitant to say this. "I think you were talking to your boyfriend, er well, ex."

Oh no.

I was mad because I didn't remember, I've been wanting to hear his voice for days, and I already did but I don't even get the satisfaction of remembering it. If I want to remember it...

"You were crying, and you said something about this place called bumpy roads and about how you don't need anyone to make you happy, then-, well you said "I don't want you anymore.". Then you hung up and started going crazy, so me and my boyfriend took you back to the dorms, and you threw things around for an hour, vomited on me then passed out." She finally finished and I was hugging my knees to my chest.

I was starting to remember small details. I remembered him gasping, I remembered telling him he hadn't tried, and I remembered making him cry.

"I'm sorry." Was all I was able to say right now.

"It's fine, just don't let it happen again." She was stern, and I understood why. She's not supposed to be worried about me, I'm supposed to be worried about myself.

And that's how it's supposed to be for the rest of my life.

••••••••••••
I'm going to have another update by Wednesday I think since I have a week off from school

I think about wattpad a lot, I mean I've grown with this sight and it's kinda cool.

Seems like only yesterday I was thirteen being nervous about posting my first chapter for Coming Home.

Now here I am, 16, published, and pretty happy.

So thanks to you guys and wattpad for helping me get through some dark times.

\(^•^)/

Follow my personal IG @ http.ledesma that'd be cool

-Aliah