Something I Can't Have (Seme Male Reader x Kakashi) {Naruto Shippuden}

AP: Hidan (Pt 3)

{time skip}

after some wonderful sex with my first love apparently, he fell asleep straddled on me with his face buried in my neck, his arms resting lazily at his side. his breathing was even and warm. i sighed. its times like this where i can almost forget that my friends haven't talked to me in almost two months now. i honestly dont know why. they stopped texting me, stopped calling me. i....i dont even feel welcomed over there any more. they give me the cold shoulder in class. dont include me in any conversations. not even hinata or the girls. its bothering me. i haven't have alot of time to pay attention to them cause im so busy trying to keep up with hidan. he transferred back to Akatsuki u some time ago now and....well he is very adamant about seeing me as often as he can. to the point that i wouldn't be able to hang out with the frat guys if they were talking to me at all. he has spent the last three weeks trying to convince me to move in with him in the big house. i guess it would make sense cause he pretty much lives over here now. has more clothes than i do over here. comes here instead of going home. managed to talk me into getting him a key so he can come 'home' everyday as he puts it. shit, he does live here. eats, sleeps, showers, everything under this roof. pretty much does everything naked. literally everything. as soon as the door is closed, he loses the clothes and climbs into bed with me. im....im actually considering it. only real reason im staying at konoha u is for my friends. his dad has, on many occasions, offered me a full ride simply because 'i haven't seen hidan smile like this since...well ever' he said. even his bodyguards are super nice to me. it might even be better. i sighed. only thing keeping me at that school is my friends. i just need to see if i still....well have friends. im gonna have to confront them on it. there isn't a reason they cant talk to me about what ever is going on.

at school...

i looked to the front of the class where kiba and shika were sitting. they said nothing. didnt look my way. thinking about it now, they haven't even acknowledged my existence in the past few weeks. tsunade passed out another group assignment. i watched as kiba, shika, naruto, and some other guy formed a group. none of them even looked my way. frankly im insulted. i dont even know why they arent fucking looking in my direction. ive never been this....ignored in my life.

kakashi pov

"ok, guys. time to write up some journals. anything you want talk about is fine, nothing is off limits. i will tell you guys that before i got this job, i was a high school counselor so if you have anything you want to discuss, please let me know. ok, five minutes of writing. go," i set the stop clock. they started writing. i looked at john. he seemed....distant. he doesnt seem as interested in me any more. didnt want to talk at all during our study session. i actually went home with a boner that night that was nigh impossible to get rid of. i didnt expect him to take what i had said in stride. he spent all that time arguing me into spending some time alone with him but....well he didnt make any moves. shit, i wish he would've though. i really wish he would pay more attention to me. its like he gave up the chase when honestly the chase was probably the most interesting thing of my boring life. the timer beeped. "pencils down! turn in your notebooks. ill see you guys tomorrow," i said. they started putting their things away. they filled pass my desk, putting their books in a neat pile. i noticed that john's notebook....was different. instead of his usual black covered book that would force me to look inside at what he put, it was now a green notebook with his name clearly printed on the front cover. to look inside would be a blatant invasion of privacy, not to mention breaking my own rule. i guess....this is really it for us, huh? no more love struck gazes or inappropriate looking. shit. he....he was susposed to resist! still keep fighting for me. still trying to stay in my rear view mirror, tailing me until he had me in his arms. shit. why do i feel like im much more affected by this than he is? im just going back to being....invisible again. no one normal actually expressing interest in me. shit. i kinda wanna just....take a peak. like there is something he wants to tell me. i waited till the last one left before digging through and pulling out john's notebook. i opened the cover, revealing a note addressed right to me.

i changed the notebook because i DIDNT want you to read it, kakashi. you are breaking your own rules reading this right now. you've made it painfully clear that you dont want us to be more than student/teacher so im gonna stop chasing someone who obviously doesnt want to be with me. congratulations, kakashi. you dont have to worry about my 'little crush' any more.

P. S. you really need to stop staring at me while i do my work. its starting to make me uncomfortable

i...i....i dont even know what to think about this. i felt like breaking down. shit. i was breaking down. they were pouring out faster than i could wipe them away. he....he really doesnt want to be with me?

later on that day....

i pulled into the driveway of the frat house. im gonna talk about this. i really am. they cant keep treating me like i dont exist any more. they didnt even talk to me about it. not at all. i walked up to the door and knocked. i waited. i actually heard some whispering.

"...who is it?.....no, naruto! its john again.....so. why cant i let him in?....uugghh!! i told you already. its (unintelligible)....whatever...(footsteps moving away)..."

well damn. i honestly didnt see that coming. well....good bye konoha u. my reason for staying has been violently crushed so im gonna move on. i just went back to the house. hidan was in his usual spot on my bed watching tv. he looked at me, immediately noticing my solemn expression. "whats wrong, babe?" he asked. i just stripped and hopped in the bed with him. "cant say ive ever been without friends before, hidan. sasuke, kiba, shika, naruto, even hinata and the girls: all of them hate me now for some reason. they spent the last few weeks treating me like i didnt exist so....im gonna move on. honestly they were the only reason i was staying at that school. im....im gonna transfer and move in with you," i said. ive never seen him smile that big. "ill tell my dad to get the papers ready. we can have you moved in and settled as early as tomorrow. probably have you transferred as soon as next week," he pulled his phone from the nightstand and got to work. if they really dont want to treat me like im there....well i may as well not be. there are plenty of other people out there who can be my friend, right?

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its hidan's fault that your friends are giving you the cold shoulder. he has convinced himself that if you remain alone like him, you wont see anyone else who could potentially take you away. he knows that you messed around all your other friends. one thing you get mad at him and you could just be with one of them. cant leave him with out anyone else to fall back on, right?

Ronald