Beyond Repair

Chapter 12: Seven Cuts Plus a Few More

Evan was not a happy camper. Logan thought he was hilarious. Donovan was the victim in this case considering he did nothing but ring the doorbell. Evan spent about two hours trying to get the paint out of him and even when he came back down, he still was red. Logan beamed happily at his work and wrote a ten on a paper and held it up.

"My art deserves a ten!" He shouted and Evan glared at him.

"Your face deserves my fist."

"Its okay, an artist doesn't need any thanks."

Evan looked as if he would murder Logan. Logan just kept grinning like the Cheshire cat. Jordan made sure to take multiple pictures which were swirling the internet as we speak and James went to pick up the little ones which Chris decided to tag along. Now I was stuck at home with a murderous looking brother, a brother that couldn't stop smiling and one who was too busy seeing the views on YouTube to notice that there could very well be a murder on our hands.

"Logan all I'm saying is, watch your back," Evan grimaces and walks off. I shudder at this thought and head towards the stairs. I do not want to be in the middle of that. Before I could even leave, Daniel arrives home, gripping me in a tight hug. He shows me a drawing he did today in his art class and then gives me it. It's a picture of a little boy and a big girl who he says is him and me, holding hands and smiling. He makes sure to put the sun over me with some clouds around it.

"What's this sun and clouds?" I ask him and he looks sheepishly to the ground.

"It's supposed to show how you can be really happy but some of your sadness lingers," he tells me and I don't really know how to respond to that. At age five, Daniel's been through so much and the fact that his older sister is a complete mess doesn't really help much. He deserves much better.

"I love it," I tell him which gets a smile from him. He hugs me tightly before running back in the living room to join his older brothers. I can't help but feel a pang of jealously. Of course my brothers love me and include me in everything but it doesn't feel the same. I don't have the vibe with them that they all have with one another. I can't understand their male vibes such as hitting on girls or liking sports or even fighting over a video game. It was easy when mom was here, I could easily connect with her, but now that she's not, I'm the only one who feels like the odd one out. I'm the only girl and I used to think it didn't matter but it does. I can't understand them and they can't understand me.

I trudge up the stairs and enter my bedroom. I head over to my bathroom mirror and take the orange bottle of pills. I get one pill out, down some water with it, and stroll over to my bed to read or listen to music. Pretty soon, listening to music just makes me feel sleepy and I drift off into the unconscious.

I don't know how long I was asleep but when I woke up, it was already dark inside. I get out of bed and head downstairs because I was getting hungry. I can hear hushed whispers and anxious tones so I stop and listen closely before interrupting. I can tell it's about me, I can just feel it.

"Well how are we going to tell her?" Evan says.

"We shouldn't," another one says but I can't make out who it was.

"She'll find out, she's going to be very pissed off," Chris tells them.

"But if we don't tell her then we're even more screwed," James puts in.

"Besides, would she really get angry at Daniel?" Jordan asks, "She loves the kid."

"Probably not Daniel but at us for allowing him to do that!" Chris hisses and I realized I've had enough.