Beyond Repair

Chapter 7: The Dream

The heat was on at full blast. New York weather was always below zero but I guess I enjoyed the cold. I read an article that said if you're cold then you'll lose weight and that's what I want to do. I just want to be perfect, like my brothers.

"So how about this weekend we spend some time together, just you and me?" Mom asks and I smile. I can't help but notice how beautiful she is. Her golden blonde hair is long, almost to the middle of her back, and tied in a sleek, perfect ponytail. Even in the dark, I can see her baby blue eyes sparkling as she thinks about the fun we'll have this weekend. Her contagious smile can make anyone even in the worst mood, smile along. That's what I loved about her; she just made everyone happy.

"Sounds great!" I say happily. Honestly, my brothers were getting on my nerves. Logan was into the queen bitch known as Katrina but Katrina had eyes on Evan. Although she wasn't going to tell Logan that because she's a bitch and wants to lead him on. She'll probably fuck him and be done with him; I mean she wants to say she's done him so I guess she'll get some longing looks. Everyone wants to be Katrina, well almost everyone. I don't care much for being a queen bitch or having an army of lookalike minions that agree with everything I say. Stacy is good enough for me and as long as I have Eric in my life, I have a pretty great social life. But as long as I have my mom, life will always be amazing.

"I hope your brothers don't mind me stealing away their darling little sister," mom says and I almost scoff. Mom thinks we're still close and to a certain extent we are but we sure as hell are NOT as close as we used to be. We run with two different crowds. They run with Katrina's crowd and I don't really have a crowd.

"I'm sure they won't care," I tell her and she shrugs.

"I don't know babe," she tells me, "You're always going to be their little sister and they'll always love you."

I roll my eyes but she doesn't see it, "You're right, I am their little sister. But can I just skip Friday and we can go then?"

Honestly, schools been a little rough lately. Something's definitely going on with Eric because he's been distant lately; it's almost as if he doesn't care about me anymore. As for my brothers, they've been distant from me ever since Katrina scoffed at me when I approached her group to ask MY brothers a question. As for Stacy, well she's been trying way too hard in my opinion. She's been getting extensions in, nails done, makeup done and buying expensive clothes that are too slutty for my taste. It seems to me that everyone's changing.

"Why?"

"Because that'd be three days I get to spend with you!"

She laughs, her laugh is a small, high pitched laugh that makes you laugh along, "Okay love, we'll go Friday."

I know mom's ready to be out of the house. Dad's been traveling a lot recently and so she's been home with us. I think she loves taking care of the little ones because it distracts her from thinking about how lonely she feels without dad. Dad's always traveled for his job but recently it's been a lot more frequent and longer than we're used to. I get that his job is good and helps pay for everything but at the same time, aren't we more important?

"I love you," she tells me and squeezes my hand. I smile at her and open my mouth to say it back. I never get a chance to because all I remember next is blinding lights and a loud horn. 

I wake up, gasping for breath. I'm sweaty and hot and tears sting my eyes. I close my eyes to stop the tears but all I think about is that night. I knew better than to ask mom to take me to the store when it was snowing but I wanted to make cupcakes for my brothers. I felt bad that I'd been ignoring them so I wanted to show them I cared and mom thought it was sweet so she agreed to drive me. I regret that so much.