A/N: If you'on know this song you aint a real one. 😂(MM) *unedited*
Regine Iman Thomas
"You ready?" Rah asked me from the doorway of the bedroom. I looked myself over in the mirror. I was ready physically, but as far as emotions went, I wasn't ready at all.
"Yeah" I mumbled. I grabbed my clutch and phone. Rah started on his way out the door, so I followed.
When we got in the car, he spoke. "Look, if they say any slick shit just ignore it aight?"
I nodded slowly. The ride to the funeral home was quiet, although the sound of my heartbeat was loud in my head and urging a throbbing headache on.
When we finally got there, I noticed so many people that I had never even seen before. Rah parked and shut the engine off. He looked over at me. "You sure you good?" he asked me. I nodded and we got out of the car.
As we neared the entrance, I caught view of my step father and siblings. James, was her husband's name. Latrell, Cornelia, Derek, and Rah were his kids. Of course Rah was the only one of the four that I had ever gotten along with.
Latrell was a year older than me, and a complete bitch. Cornelia was a few years younger than me. I hated her because I used to always end up in trouble on account of her. Derek was the oldest. He had to be almost thirty by now and was just annoying and snobby as hell. All of them always treated me like scum and an outsider.
As Rah and I approached them, they all looked as if they had seen a ghost. Cornelia whispered something to Latrell who in return started laughing. I inwardly rolled my eyes.
"Regine?" James chuckled and stretched his arms out to me for a hug.
I eyed him uncomfortably. "Hi." He dropped his arms.
"Rude much?" Derek said with his lip turnt up.
"Shut up" Rah kissed his teeth.
"Surprised to see yall here" Latrell said.
"You knew damn well we were coming" Rah said.
"Naw, we knew you was comin' but we ain't know you was bringin' her" Cornelia shot me a dirty look.
"Cut it out. Lauren was her mother" James said sternly.
"Is. Lauren is my mother" I corrected him. He looked uncomfortable at my statement and the way I glared at him. Instead of standing around them, I pushed past and into the building. Rah stayed behind talking to them.
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As I entered, one of the workers at the funeral home handed me an obituary. I made my way inside the room where the service was being held and took a seat on the first row. I held back tears as I scanned over the obituary.
I was furious.
Loved ones left behind were named.
Everyone's name was there.
Everyone's name but Regine Iman Thomas.
I dropped it. Right onto the floor. It was of no importance to me.
"The family is sitting here" the funeral director said leading James and his folks over to where I was. "Did you drop this?" he picked up the obituary that I had purposely dropped on the ground. I slowly nodded.
He tried handing it to me. "No thank you" I muttered. I didnt want it.
"Well we're going in order of relation so her husband should be where you're sitting ma'am" the director said.
I chuckled. "We're going in order of relation? I'm her only child. Her husband can sit next to me" I smiled politely and looked over at James. He forced a smile and he and his kids took their seats next to me.
I couldnt believe these people.
I sat in silence tuning out everything around me. I wasnt sure if I was prepared for all this.
"Why arent you talkin'?" James asked me. All eyes in the row were now aimed in my direction.
"What could I possibly talk about with you all? Do you want to discuss how none of you told me she was sick? Or do you want to talk about how you werent going to tell me anything? Oh! Or maybe we can cheerfully talk about how my name is missing from the obituary?" I said to him.
James looked away shamefully.
I truly couldnt believe these people.
----------
I dont know when I cried more, the moment I found out she'd passed or the moment her casket was lowered and I realized it was all real.
It was really real. I was walking through the burial grounds back to Rah's car. I didnt want to talk to anyone. They all pissed me off everytime they opened their mouths.
I stood by the car waiting for Rah for about five minutes before my phone began ringing. It was JoVaughn. I ignored it. I hadnt even noticed Rah had walked over.
"We out" he said unlocking the doors. I sighed in relief as we got into the car. He started driving towards where he lived.
"On behalf of my ignorant ass family, I'd like to apologize" he said sincerely.
"Its fine. Its over now" I mumbled.
When we got back to the house, I headed straight to the guest room and began packing my things. I left first thing in the morning and I was estatic. Rah went off to handle business he said so I was here alone.
After I finished packing, I plugged my phone into the sound system and pressed shuffle on one of my playlists. I laid down with my eyes closed and just listened to the music.
Say Yes by Floetry began to play and my stomach overflowed with butterflies as my mind traveled to Joey. This was the song we always ended up listening to together before we drifted off to sleep or something. It was most definitely our song.
And I missed him.
I wanted him.
But I was still upset with him and there was something that stopped me everytime I wanted to speak to him.
I was conflicted.
I knew what Nicole said was right, but I had inherited a great amount of Joey's stubborness in the time that I've been close with him.
And it was definitely evident.
